pursuing tender square i’ve gotten two messages in the past week from friends remarking that it’s inspiring that i’m following my dream and that statement, to me, feels loftier than what i’m actually doing. i don’t know, maybe i always believed as a kid that following your passion meant feeling extraordinary every day, or that you had to be brilliant to even try and reach for it. the truth that i’m finding is, all you need is courage and eventually the work starts to feel just about as normal and routine as any other kind of work does. maybe i’m being a reductionist, but i don’t think so. i’m not saying any of this to take away from my friends’ generous compliments or to diminish my own efforts, but rather i’m trying to understand my hesitancy about classifying my work as “dream” (even though i’m technically doing what i’ve always wanted). i mean, if we’re lucky enough to find our vocation in this world, shouldn’t it feel like an equilibrium, like a natural state has been reached? i feel more like myself now than i ever have before and that’s been the biggest surprise of it all. 210808 ... unhinged impostor syndrome maybe it's just that the narratives we were taught about what it looks like and means to follow our dreams were just wrong 210808 what's it to you? who go blather from