more_not_more raze you were the first person who ghosted me, years before there was a cute word for cutting someone out of your life. you just stopped picking up the phone. i lost count of how many messages i left for you. every few months i'd try again. once or twice i was fucked_up on one drug or another. i thought you might sense that somehow and decide to be my friend again for a minute. it didn't happen. the only thing i ever did was believe in you, and you sabotaged an opportunity a stranger dangled in front of me when i was fourteen. you were ten years older than me. no one ever made you an offer like that. maybe you didn't think i'd earned it. maybe you were jealous. i don't know. i'll never know. you probably don't even remember snuffing out a connection that might have changed my life. the last time i drove by your house, i listened to bruce cockburn sing, "i want to shout your name out loud, but i shout inside instead." that was so long ago. now i bottle my screams and save them for the people who deserve them. 240513 what's it to you? who go blather from