i_searched_my_notes_for_the_word_strength
warmthofrelease sorry I'm just such a
product of free market economy anyway
I'm always comparing shopping searching
value value the optimalist west coast mindset

that I could find my strength in gentle fear
and teetering ego
to have sex with a woman and make love with a man
not even for want,
but for a dead,
dead or numbered and former want
and present invitation
to connect,
if_only_through_bad_timing
not even for hunger not even for need
if not for that then what
what should move me away from my crowny post oh I know
that I seem so unreasonably difficult to ignite
for something so combustible
something so pressured
so buried in the strength of god
the strength that lies in the top of my mind and

































all_the_way_down











(June 2015)



((Ferocious) Angels)
(Dangerous) Wishes (we_are_we_are_we_are_we_are_we_are_all_we_have) Stories
(Mind) Games)

how many times has the code been rewritten?
how much have I forgotten?

how many times has it been bestowed upon me
as a blessing, a gift
as a cleansing of dissolution:
forgetforgetforget

who needs forgiveness or humility or
plausible_deniability all these
additions and subtractions of burdens
when there is utter total erasure
total renewal and rebirth

things won't be preserved or carried
the_patterns_will_play_out_in_their_own_cyclical_ways
as archetypes
as love and hate
as war and conquest and celebration and harmony
but they will all be contained
none of it will be carried
to the_places_before_or_after_us

and that includes judgement
that includes what humans brand as
sins and transgressions and
charity and love
even the legends
even the tyrannical strength of traditions
and knowledge and ethics
and method and instincts
and stories


none of it transcends
just the energy itself
formless and shapeless and self-sustaining
and endless





tonight_is_not_your_night

(July 2018) 		250923
what's it to you?
who go 		blather
from