what_i'll_be raze i'll be the sound sleep makes when_no_one_is_listening as all i've ever lost floods back into me weigh me down shatter me so i can breathe you in through parchment paper gills 220929 ... ovenbird When they rewind the tape of their lives all the way to childhood, I’ll be the conspicuous absence, always missing from the pictures because I was taking them, missing from the family trips because mental health and sleep challenges kept me home, missing from memories because I never could quite find a way to insert myself into the conversation, because everything was so loud and overwhelming and I shut down and went into a locked room inside myself and peered out of the barred windows of my eyes. And one day I’ll be dead. And maybe then they’ll see that I was more than just the angel in the house. Maybe I’ll be a whole person when they are grown and whole themselves. Maybe they’ll see that “mother” was not my only name. 261011 what's it to you? who go blather from