out_of_focus raze i didn't mean for it to turn out this way. i spent a long time working the focus ring. trying to get everything just right. something about the screen on the other side of the glass didn't agree with the camera's all-seeing eye. or maybe the light was wrong. the creature i saw staring back at me shed its features. the blurred background built a brown face in the flowering head of a tree not much taller than me. a face that looks like someone i let go of because they were never going to wrap their arms around my skinny spine and hold me back. the only clear things are the ones that don't matter. the bronzed body and blue handle of a lunch pail that hasn't once felt food in its belly. half-empty bottles of vitamins. small smudges that look like rain. given the day i had, it might be the truest picture i could have taken, even if the scene i wanted to capture has been gutted, twisted into something distant and flawed. 230115 what's it to you? who go blather from