online_dating
tender_square my first ex-husband said to me, upon learning the news of my second divorce, "well, if you need any tips for your online dating profile, let me know."

"oh god!" i was horrified by the sincerity of his statement. "i'm not going anywhere near that stuff!"
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raze after she threw me in the trash for daring to ask her where i stood, a friend found her on plenty of fish. she was using a name that wasn't hers. i guess pretending to be someone else has its appeal sometimes. i thought about making a throwaway account as satan, if the site would let me, to engineer a situation in which she got a notification that said, "satan liked your profile." just to make her wonder for a split second. a long way to go for a joke with no real payoff, i know. it's one of those things i probably would have gone to hell for, but it almost would have been worth it, if only to imagine the look on her face. 230204
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