holds_the_cards past it's a source of unspoken tension: he holds all the cards -- aces, trumps -- but refuses to ever play them. never will he say "actually, i deserve a raise" or "no, you know what? i'm taking a long weekend to see my grandchildren." he's twice retired, and called back in yet again. he holds all the cards. years ago it felt like he was beginning to get it, but i don't think he knows how to make_it_special. that plays itself down the generations, both in his avoidant behaviour forcing decisions on to others but also how his unstated expectations must be decoded. how can you get someone to show up when they've never felt that expectation for anyone, besides their boss, in over 60 years? so, we let disappointment fester. it bleeds into the wrong relationships. tensions grow without him -- away from him, but because of him. because he holds the cards and refuses to play. 221228 what's it to you? who go blather from