lithium
tender_square
for
thirty
years
a
pretty
pink
and
parchment
pill
controls
the
flow
of
sodium
through
her
cells, hedging
against
mania
. twelve-hundred milligrams
a
day
and
three
-month
cycles
of
phlebotomy
to
stabilize.
the
nursing
home
nurses
hand
her
tylenol
to
blunt
the
ache
in
her
back
;
she
can't
have
percs
because
of
averse reactions. controlling
her
bipolar
disorder
remains
the
utmost
priority
.
the
last
time
she
was
hospitalized
for
an
episode
happened
in
1991.
she
was
under
supervision
for
four
months
, transferred
to
a
facility
two
hours
from
home
.
a
cocktail
of
pills
sent
her
nosediving
into
a
valley
of
numbness
,
blank
for
weeks
until
the
doctors
weened
her
and
she
became
a
desperate
explorer
finding
her
way
back
to
herself
.
the
spiral
began
before
she
returned
to
italy
for
the
first
time
in
four
decades
.
she
fought
with
one
of
her
brothers
,
when
the
sites
of
her
lost
youth
became
a
transparency
of
past
overlapping
present
,
repressed
memories
rushing
to
the
surface
of
her
consciousness
like
the
molten lava
of
vesuvius.
230109
what's it to you?
who
go
blather
from
