everything_is_fine Bespeckled I am in a phase during which I define my attractiveness by a number on the scale in my roommate's bedroom. During this phase, I try as hard as I can to starve myself without experiencing any sever discomfort. I hate food, I hate food, I hate food. I long for it. I will lost 5 pounds. I will be thing enough. Then I will start eating again. Then the 5 pounds will come back. I'll feel good for a week. I will notice that I've gained weight. I will hate myself for 2 months. I will feel inhibited during sex. My boyfriend will think I'm not sexual when really I'm afraid of looking fat and disgusting on top of him. I will long to starve again. And so I will. 050114 ... Bespeckled ** won't even bother fixing errors; I need to start proof-reading my blathes** 050114 what's it to you? who go blather from