erection_season
raze i've been the recipient of a lot of penis enlargement spam over the years.

this email might be the most compelling of them all. it comes to me from someone named lastLONGER. the subject line reads:

"erection brain discovered!"

mr. last refers to me (twice) as "[NAME]". he tells me a "long-known secret for elongation" has just been made public after its discovery "by a german sport doctor back in 1976". he assures me that "this is...HUGE! (literally)".

betwixt the text there's an illustration. a pair of pricks with eyes stand and stare. one is twice as tall as the other. i'm afforded a glimpse of each organ's inner workings. i can see the dorsal artery. the anterior branch. the blood vessels in the corpus cavernosum.

these twin towers don't resemble anything i've seen on my body or in any dirty magazine i read when i was younger and less content to use my imagination. they look like bewildered sea jellies.

tempted as i am by this strangest_spam, i think i'll stick with the flaccid brain i've got.
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