undeserving pralines&cream I see your smile everyday, I hold your hands and touch your face. I watch your eyes as they watch me. Most times I smile to your eyes, I laugh and smile and "love you, too!" and take joy in you there, beside me. Sometimes though, I see your eyes, as windows to your soul, filled with ancient hurt and rage. (It's hard to smile then.) When those times come, I wish that you would hurt me like I hurt you once, (like I hurt you twice, like I hurt you forever), so I could feel the pain you feel, so I could share in your deep-seated rage, so I could somehow make it up to you, so I wouldn't have to look at your eyes, and feel so undeserving. 020115 ... jinx Sometimes I think I am, but then I remember I have to forget things like that... 030224 ... neoncrackle maybe we do all get what we deserve but it's jumbled up what if my suffering has just been punishment for the things i am doomed to do but have not yet done what if my joy is a reward do i deserve it? who decides? 220311 what's it to you? who go blather from