i'm_not_sure little wonder I wonder what I am doing, and where this is going. I don't think I'm being subtle, but in reality I'm sure I am. I become frustrated with him when I should be frustrated with myself for not saying what I mean, direct and to the point. I've reached another point of not caring what happens, one way or another. The telephone would be nice, but it's been so long. I couldn't just call, and asking to call through the internet seems to ruin the entire idea of calling. What's the point of the phone? That's not what I really want. I really want to sit on the porch and smoke, go to the zoo, watch movies. None of that is possible though. It will probably never go anywhere again, but it's hard to accept this. Right now I miss the friend that I had more than anything. 050331 what's it to you? who go blather from