borrowing nom) again 050921 ... nom) i still owe 050921 ... nom) to cover the phone 050921 ... amy in red i study, learn, and borrow from Buddhism. But I'm not sure I take refuge in it-- I think too much with my body. Borrowing is not refuge. I'm not sure if it's a gender thing. If I were to take refuge in it, I'd be able to hook up with a monastery or meditation center-- and maybe i will - but somehow the Christian friendly martyr thing has more hold (even though i am not baptised much to my chagrin and i have not had religious education, these values are still easily passed down.) i'm trying to think through it, and it's a hard thing to think through. since borrowing Buddhism like it's in the library makes me sad, i am somewhat convinced that local politics and security or whatever are more pressing issue than global politics. but carbon is a global issue so that's a hard thing. *some people will get flooded basements more often in the Chicago area due to climate change. so, without too much consequence the pretty big population here (though not as big as the Chinese cities) will just continue with a standard of pollution. the stable middle is a false sense of security. more complications.... the things (because, frankly) little me has had to think about .... just to resolve the tension of making sense.... sheeeesh. craazy. literally and figuratively. 151120 what's it to you? who go blather from