song_but_not_song raze half of who i am has gone missing. i don't know why. but i do know, don't i? i thought it was a head problem. i think it runs deeper and hits lower than that. and now whatever words i'm strong enough to carry from the place they're made have decided they want to be their own music. they want to see what they're made of when there's no sound to support them. you can sing anything you want to. that's always been true. it still is. but it has to mean something. the words have to take you somewhere. or at least they do if you're me and you're singing to yourself. there's always a melody to guide me. some bit of birdsong mixed with abdication. but if i'm the bird and the song is me, the hissing i'm hearing on the other side of this window must be something more than animal instinct given another name. maybe it's the sound of something like joy learning how to live again. 220302 what's it to you? who go blather from