numbly maruku astringent. puckering up and collapsing, drying out, staring into nothing.. and painfully, seeing a way back.. a way out. but not having anything like the will to take it. and i'm so dry i could never cry 010524 ... chanaka aknowledging the fact that i did have a first love, and that i still love him. knowing that this man is not the one i have been dreaming of lately. feeling the march of the inevitable drawing very very close... i wish i could stop it, but my brain seems to have fallen asleep 010525 what's it to you? who go blather from