in_the_first_place raze "imagine," he says. "just before you die, you revisit the most difficult time of your life." he lies on his back, asleep with his eyes wide open, on the front lawn of a house i lived in before my body learned to betray me. polystyrene packing peanuts freckle his flesh. "i was born with a smile on my face," he says. "i was happy in the first place." he isn't smiling now. 231001 what's it to you? who go blather from