jug crOwl orchard hill has lost another one of its fathers. i took my mom to the funeral home. we were strangers in that place until craig and dolores saw us. we laughed away the sorrow because that's what we all have to do until you are alone. that's when the true grieving overtakes you. we looked at the photos of jug on the easel. he appeared like a man who loved his life. young man, husband, dad, grandpa. i think it was strange for my mom. it was the same funeral home as where my dad was shown. observing jug in the casket must have made it all come rushing back to her. if it did to me, did it to her? such waxy stillness. horrible beauty. 102 days of mysivia(sic) gravis suffering ended. thanks for coming, they said. i know they meant it because i remember how humbled i felt when people came to my dad's funeral. i wanted to give them something back for sacraficing their time. what? going to the funerals of the ones they lose, i guess. 051213 what's it to you? who go blather from