apart_together nr they talk but they don't connect. not anymore. not the way she wants them to. they just miss the mark, their jokes just don't quite land, they're just a bit too sarcastic, just a bit too sensitive. they've lost some trust in the way that happens when people are afraid to admit something isn't right. she hears the ping of her phone and she hopes it's him and not him in equal measures. she braces herself for disappointment or defensiveness. she hopes for more this time but also worries more won't be enough to reassure her and might do the opposite. 230614 ... nr the thought of speaking to him later makes her anxious and sad and like they're ending, even though it's unclear why or what happened or what was even the beginning. really she just misses how he cared about her. she doesn't know anything more. she wonders if there's a word to describe wanting something badly and dreading it at the same time. 230614 ... nr she just wants to be loved. and she might finally be tired enough to admit that to herself. 230614 ... nr she finds herself wondering what he wants from her when he doesn't want her for her. 230614 what's it to you? who go blather from