for_pondering ovenbird "what if joy is not only entangled with pain, or suffering, or sorrow, but is also what emerges from how we care for each other THROUGH those things? What if joy, instead of a refuge or relief from heartbreak, is what effloresces from us as we help each other carry our heartbreaks?" Ross Gay from his 2024 book of essays Inciting Joy 250416 what's it to you? who go blather from