create_me green eyed gwen blank, pale, blotchy. she peaks into the door wondering if this is the room a small bell dings and rocks and she is told to come in. _______________ to enter this world we live in one must appear to be knowledgeable in the matters of life. one must appear to be in a sound sate of mind. it's one famous act, trying to prove that you understand everything when you won't ever half understand any of it at all. in some ways, it's almost a joke. who ever made these goals demands requirements must think they are as funny as hell. ____________ so she walked into this room not knowing what to expect but only what was required of her: to be transformed. to become the imagie to grasp perfection... to fool the world. what better place to do this than a superficial beauty salon? but no one knows their second purpose...the women who have used this service would never disclose this secret but i am ready and willing to let you in-- beauty salons, covered in their shiny mirrors and posters of fake women with fake lives and fakes faces, fake hair and fake souls, remnants of beauty products, sinks, table tops, scissors. nail polish and clouds of hair spray. BEYOND THESE THINGS there lies another world with tools you would not recognize. these tools have a single task, you see, to change one young girl to a woman of the world. falsely confident and assured. the make up cannot be removed but it isn't seen at first. and the changes don't include mirrors or marks or scissors or clouds of spray. instead it involves pain. the realization that you will never truly know, so you must have someone repeat the words until they stick to your dying soul. "you know about the world. you are confident in yourself because you are a woman and because the world is about pleasing those around you. tilt your head and smile. that's right. again. you know about the world. you are confident in yourself because you are a woman and because the world is about pleasing those around you. tilt your head and smile. that's right. again. you know about the world. you are confident in yourself because you are a woman and because the world is about pleasing those around you. tilt your head and smile. that's right. again." a sound sleep beyond the walls, in the dark corners where the words repeat over and over. there's no escape once you let yourself in, no hope once you hear the song. and once you believe, there is no memory your cheating. of the deceptive way out you chose to take. instead, there is only a false impression of understanding. a clever smirk, a bitchy walk, an obcession with success and the future. with the image you must maintain and the goals you must obtain. you are no longer you. you are a woman who is confident. you are a woman who is perfect. you are a woman who is self-assured. you are a woman who is a piece of worthless shit. ______________ there are those lucky few, you see, who smell the scam before they open the door. and when the bell rings on the glass above the entrance, a woman washing anothers hair catches your eye before they have time to drift, reality sinks in. the_truth you see is that you won't understand. that no magical appointment at the beauty salon can answer the questions which have haunted mankind for so long. you are destined to continue questioning until your dying day. so why continue on trying and begging and pleading to understand... why not understand what it is to never understand. there you might fine peace. there you might find a piece of understanding that forfills you more than questions. more than the answers of scholars or the songs of stars. 040120 what's it to you? who go blather from