you_will_never_understand_me Mahayana i shall acquire everything in solitude ...excluding character i have yet to consummate this thus far why not renounce all hope now, why put forth any efforts for i am a most intolerable wretched breath of life, whom can only embrace ones beloved to me and make them taste inferior with my well intended questions... i only ask the not so indulgent questions b/c i care, b/c i truly wanna know [you], b/c no one hardly ever takes the interest, effort, nor time to ask the really substantial questions, ... but they are precise [i] am the quandary, the pivitol point in all conversational arguements, [i] am in the wrong with my trying to always have to understand, i hate it, i really really detest how i have to know things that i just cant let go, that my everything inside just wont pacify for lil insignificant meaningless conversations & questions why can i not be like most people- and just not care- for in the carring i am portrayed as this hurtful soul ...and if i knew better id change right? if i knew better it wouldnt happen again, but i guess im to thick in the head to even know when im treading down the wrong avenues. too idiotic to attempt to love & know anyone- fuck i cant even do this properly- so undeserving of love, so fucking undeserving, so [so] so fucking fucked- is how i will always be. welcome to me- have a nice fucking trip i shall appropriate everything in seclusion ...except appropriate manner- and nothing would have transposed [“you will never understand me”]:maybe you were right, perhaps i was a fool for ever thinking i could 020816 ... silent storm i dont mind you asking questions about me. i appreciate you asking them and trying to really get to know me and understand me. and youre right.. no one else would ever do that. certainly not with me. but i never once said that you were a hurtful soul or in the wrong for trying to understand certain things. and i never once tried to imply it. if it seemed that way to you, im sincerely sorry. it is not what i meant. but when we have discussions like that, i do feel as though im not as good as you b/c ive done things you would never even consider doing. and i feel as though im having to defend myself. and why should i have to do that? just because you would never do something.. just because you never decided to hide who you are.. why should i have to defend myself and my reasons for doing it? ive tried to help you understand but it just doesnt work. and it will never work if stupid insignificant irrelevant things (like what is the legal age to fuck) keeps coming in our conversations. why do things that have nothing to do with the conversation matter? what i meant by saying that you will never understand me is simply that there are certain things that you will never fully understand. just as there are things about you that i will never understand. you did not grow up where i grew up.. you dont even come from a small town where everyone knows everyone and if youre not stuck up then your shit and therefore made fun of, insulted, laughed at just for who you people THINK you are.. because they would certainly never take the time to even ask you the time of day. maybe you do know what that feels like. i dont know. but did you have to deal with it day in and day out every day of your life? oh, except on weekends when i could hide in my room. thats why i hid who i am from them. and i would have said so last night but i wasnt given the opportunity. the conversation changed too quickly before i could even answer your first question. do you have any idea how frustrating that is? to be asked one thing and before you can give a complete answer youre being asked about the part of the answer youve already given? i cant do that. if i could explain everything all at once without aim telling me it wont send it cuz its too long, i would. then we wouldnt have this problem. but as it is i have to give you a complicated answer in several pieces.. that in itself can be confusing. and then having to defend only part of an answer?? i just cant do it. i know ive hurt you. im sorry. i never meant to hurt you. its the last thing id want to do. but i was hurt too. and when im hurt i lash out. its all i know how to do, but im working on that. im so sorry. why do we do this? 020816 ... draugHrafn because love, passion, whatever anyone might wish to call it, for all its blessings. can be a double_edged_sword 020816 ... sam but consecration is wiser than execution 030910 ... Aimee so stop trying to make me understand you 030910 ... invisible believer you will never understand me because i don't want you to. i have to keep changing faces, putting on a mask, but i will keep doing it, and you will never understand me because i don't want you to. nothing personal. 040218 ... magicforest The moment at which you decide others are better, worse, or different than you is the moment you start to be wrong about them. 040218 ... stork daddy because if you ever did, you would no longer be you, and the world would be in grave danger. 040218 ... minnesota_chris We're not all the same under the surface. For instance, some people like sports. I don't get that. 040605 ... ferret i will never understand myself. or why i keep coming back here. 040605 ... kookaburra i think you come back either cuz you love us or because bradthegame.com is fucking wif my mind... 040605 ... love & hate You will never understand me, never understand the meaning behind the things i do, the meaning behind the things i say to you and other people. Never ever understand the pain i feel inside, want to just rip my heart out from within me to make it stop, tear into my flesh and delve in deep till i get hold of that pulsating, broken heart of mine, then tear it out, clean out of me so there is nothing left. You will never understand the pain you have caused because i believed in you and believed you would never EVER do what you did. You will never understand how much i love you and how this has destroyed me for the rest of my entire life. This is something i cannot get over, i cannot move on from, i cannot forget. It is with me forever until i tear the blackened heart out from me, then it will be over and only then will i not care as you do. 040606 ... pete ...nor shall i try to 040606 what's it to you? who go blather from