ashmanzhou she was there again today
wandering by
she glanced up again on her way past
just a glance
the barest hint of a smile

ill wait when she comes back again
ashmanzhou i saw her again
wandering past
on the way to the bus stop
i think
she didnt look my way

maybe shell pass tomorrow as well
ashmanzhou she went by again today
she didnt look up
didnt smile on her way to the bus

maybe she had to go to a meeting
screwing for virginity does anyone ever talk to the people_passing_by 030804
ashmanzhou she came back early today
she didnt look up
but when she went down the street she looked back at me

i wonder when shell come back tomorrow
niska maybe you're creeping her out by starng at her. i'd look back to, to be sure i wasn't being followed.

unless you've been smiling. if you've been smiling, next time she passes, you have to say hello.

strangers do it all the time. every time i pass a senior citizen, they are always compelled to say hello and smile. i think there was a time when the world was courteous and congenial.

don't let that time pass you by...
ashmanzhou i have a 'problem'
with my smiles
if you couldst just see me
thou wouldst truly understand
so i prefer as probably do others
that i not smile

and i think she would not hear me
even if i shouted
(her name?)
at her
ashmanzhou she didnt come for ages
and didnt go back the same way
she didnt look
and i didnt see anyone pay any notice

i think she was late
ferret i was sitting in a parking lot allyway when i screamed: "hello gorgeous!" which is when you turned towards me and walked away. i laughed. some guy stopped in his tracks and yelled something back, i don't remember what he said tho 030806
birdmad (raven or albatross?) and what could i possibly say that they don't just keep passing by?

yeah, i think i've arrived at the vanishing_point (if, in fact, i was ever anywhere else)
ashmanzhou she went by again
she even looked up
and waved
and laughed to herself

i think ill stay til she goes home again
pipedream oh, yay!

i smile at people passing by. usually i get the same grim lank-jawed stare they had on their face before i smile. i still do it anyway. some people smile back after a while, and their entire face changes into a wrinkly mass of happy..their eyes light up and their laugh lines crease and you know what they look like when they're playing with their kids.
NothingNow i would say something to her
but i already know the outcome
Gilraen (s.h.o.t.h) The woman passing by came back for me. I was in the bathroom.
Her bathroom.
Standing naked.
I could see myself in the mirror.
She was going to tell me something.
But I woke up.
ashmanzhou i saw her this morning
almost missed her
but as she strode past
she gave a final look around her shoulder
and saw me on my balcony

i wonder if shes walking home right now
jane you know, this reminds me of the old wes thing. i used to see the same guy everyday on the way to school, and i called him old wes cause he looked like wes...and one day i saw him driving his car and i got the license plate number and saw what street he turned down and got his address and do you think it was a coincidence that he lived on janey way...? 030811
dike can you give the woman my phone numeber my girlfriend and i are interested!! We think together we can make her more than talk!!!!!!!!! Mwah!! 030812
pipedream really, jane? then what? 030813
jane i'm going to have to plead the fifth 030813
ashmanzhou she didnt come the rest of this week
i waited for hours though
staring into the streams of humanity
passing far below me
i thought of going down but didnt

i hope shes back next week
ashmanzhou she came back
but only in the evening
she didnt look up
because it was raining
all the cars were deadlocked in puddles

i hope its fine tomorrow for her
nomme i catch moments when we collide
when the light is just right
the shadow i am standing in
my mirror image

and the scene is hurried on and nothing is known but the faint scent of who i where i what
why i when
ashmanzhou didnt happen but still saw her
almost missed her because of her raincoat
a blocky ugly plastic thing
so unlike her ungraceful
she came home agin in lighter drizzle
but she didnt look up at all

i hope the rain goes away
ashmanzhou she came again in the rain
though it lightened up
by the time she went back past
she looked thoughtful
but not up at me

ill stay to watch her tomorrow
ashmanzhou she didnt come yesterday
mayhap she was sick or tired
or just had something else to do
she came today though
about ten minutes earlier than usual
and went home on the later bus
i think she missed the earlier bus
and neither time she looked up at me

i hope she comes back next week
eyedream Ashmanzhou, this is beautiful and I can't stop reading it. I am so sorry for interrupting it, I feel terrible, but I want you to know how intense it is and how much I want you to know I won't be forgetting.

ashmanzhou my glasses were delivered this morning
ten minutes before she was due to arrive
she came today across the street
amidst the wave of humanity
she looked up laughed waved and then
walked away with certain grace
silent beauty smiling face

i will watch for her this afternoon
hey now! just curious...

why dont you talk to her?
ashmanzhou she came again today walking by
going home from work i guess
though she didnt look up again
i guess one glance a day is more than enough
she was walking much more briskly than usual
she was two minutes later that before

ill sit out here until she returns tomorrow
ashmanzhou thou art distant 'hey now' for there
is many reasons i do not thou i do
dream forever of doing just that
though thy distance is not thyself
one is pure physical-i am four floors up
and going down to ground would take to long
another is physical though more than that
and i why i venture outside not
coldly burned into my soul forever
see scars_that_make_up_me for detail
i see this detail as pure uneeded
as i see it in my face every day
ashmanzhou i saw her today again walking by
and again going home
she was troubled this afternoon
crying inside though outside countenence
remained firm to all around her
i wonder why she was so worried

i will watch for her tomorrow
ashmanzhou she walked past again silently
still emotionally limping along
so distant from everyone but herself
she looked up not in the morn
nor again in the afternoon
her mind as mine was turned to other thought

i watched then as i shall in my dreams
ashmanzhou i watched her as she walked
she walked not alone
she and another woman older more bent
walked by and away
laughing to themselves
she did not look up at me
she went home agan alone this time
again a darkened self indulging
in her own sancity of space

i shall watch for her again
elimeny sometimes i wonder if im the only person who sits at a traffic light, and looks around and wonders about each individuals life, wonders what they are thinking, where they are going, what they did last night, where they went to school, what their first heartbreak was like... but then i read this and realize im not alone. and it makes me feel a bit better. 030828
ashmanzhou saw her again today just got back
been to hospital for a few days
asthma lost my puffer and almost
didnt call out closed my eyes
and sat in my room to cry
anyway i got back today
and walking in at the morn
saw the woman passing by in flesh
just a mere breath away from me
she saw me paled to see my face
ruined in such close vicious detail
but still she waved and hurried away
i think i shall sit on my window
never again dreaming lost by weight
of crushing reality
what will she see when passing by
and looking up at me?

i shall sit in my corner in darkened room
empty and try to feel enough to weep
eyedream Elimeny I do that too. 030902
ashmanzhou i saw her at the supermarket today
she saw me and waved
her name is sarah
she thinks the new floor is nice
even though it squeaks all the time
when you walk on it
and smells like melted plastic
nom i like dancing in the supermarket
because the floor is so sqaweakawy
nom the music usually gets to me 031022
ashmanzhou she walked past
four minutes late this morning
she didnt look up at me
perched a floor below my old seat
she was in a hurry
i wonder if she got to work in time
celestias shadow sometimes it's better not to talk, not to see too close, not to know names.

and sometimes it is. :)
r1y9a6n4 that really meant a lot 031127
whitechocolatewalrus to be so common, but to be so uncommon, i feel enlightened to have this new outlook. i wonder if people notice when i am hurried, late, or sad. 031212
marked . 040811
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