will_i_ever_stop_thinking_about_it p.m. dawn I dont know; I doubt it. 030218 ... nom) suicide? 050924 ... unhinged only when i have something new and more troublesome to worry about 050924 ... Syrope i'm not sure i ever want to stop thinking about it 050924 ... daxle they say it can take over a year for the memory of it to be mostly erased from your brain cells, and it's possibly never totally gone 050925 ... andru235 i ask myself that question but in the absence of it the thought is all that sustains me it is a meager subsistence 050927 ... unhinged how great it would feel if this was just over 051007 ... ungreatsince_86 i desperately want to stop thinking about it, but then i might stop living. 070808 ... pSyche damnit, I just lost the game. 070808 ... falling_alone part of me wanted to know about his last relationship, of course who wouldn't, especially knowing she had been his first "true" love dare i say it, first one he gave himself too... and perhaps the first one to hurt him as badly as anyone had done so far. but when i was curious to know some of the reasons he now hated her, i wasn't expecting him to be so open about everything. he gave me all of his notes and rants about her for me too read, and then i felt like an ass intruding on his private feelings for something he probably has wanted to move past with me. so i backed out, saying it wasn't important, what was important was the here and now between us. i'm not her so i shouldn't worry if i had been making the same "mistakes" annoyances that she brought upon you. only you wouldn't accept that and asked me to read them anyway. i...i don't know... felt completely out of my element, i never know what to say in these types of situations. i'm not even sure if you wanted pity, because i certainly do not do pity. or even give advice. so i asked, do you still love her (god's say no.) "i mean, it's alright, i'm sure she was important to you," (actually it would not have been alright) well, his answer was no, she had hurt him too much, he used the words she left a hole inside of him, when she dumped him. even though, you were considering dumping her. i suppose thats where my cynical side comes in saying, sounds more like a hit to male pride, then logic hits and she was a bit of a bitch he had really tried to help her, when everything in her life turned upside down. maybe he was overwhelmed... but what it comes down to, is that i want to be the one to fill in that awful gaping hole that now looms over my head and i have those words echoing inside of me of everything that bother him about her. every time i notice i might do the same thing as her, or as close to it in my mind, i wonder if he thinks of her. does he file these little reminders away, adding them all up....of course i'm being paranoid, but i'm in love, and i don't fall in love easily... 070812 what's it to you? who go blather from