warmfoot_the_barbarian Warmfootologist "RRRARRRR!" roared Warmfoot the Barbarian. "MY TOES ARE ROASTING!" Warmfoot took off his argyle wool socks. The other barbarians watched with alarm. What would Warmfoot do next? they wondered. They hoped he would do a little dance. To the great joy of all, their hopes were soon requited. Warmfoot, who is rather large and cumbersome, attempted to dance the Salome. It was bizarre, to say the least, but the other barbarians liked it a lot. Unfortunately, while he was dancing "seductively", Warmfoot stumbled into the firepit. "RRRARRRR!" howled Warmfoot, "MY TOES ARE ROASTING!" Nervous that Warmfoot might become violent, the barbarian sorceress cast Ice 3 on Warmfoot's toes. He calmed down a bit, and finished his dervish. Even the powerful spell of Ice 3 cannot keep Warmfoot's feet cool for long, however, and as the barbarian set out across the snow to take a leak in the nearby woods, he left behind him a trail of melted footprints. For a long while he stood there among the darkened pines, pissing this way and that. He spelled his name and wrote the date; he even managed to piss a yellow smiley-face into the snow. Surely the next morning the barbarian children would find it humorous. Returning to the camp, Warmfoot discovered that everyone was... 071202 ... Follower ... eating a pastrami sandwich. Please note that it was one single giant sandwich that they were eating, as opposed to something else you may have been thinking. Warmfoot was not hungry for salami so he took a small knife from his pocket and hacked off several toes. Using a sharp stick to skewer the toes, he began to roast them over the fire. "RRRARRRR!" roared Warmfoot, "MY TOES ARE ROASTING!" Fortunately for Warmfoot, he regenerates. Within several minutes his toes had grown back, even before those that had been shish-ka-bobbed were cooked through. Once they had been cooked to taste, he pulled them from the fire and ate them. The other barbarians were too preoccupied with the pastrami sandwich to care. After everyone had finished eating, they all commenced with a game of... 071202 ... Warmfootologist ..."Whose got cold feet?" It was one of the barbarians' favorite games, because of obvious reasons. "Do you have cold feet?" one barbarian elder asked another. Sure enough, cold feet were had. The question passed from person to person, each winning large prizes in rapid succession. Yet then came the turn of Warmfoot. "Do you have cold feet?" someone asked him. "RRRARRRR!" howled Warmfoot. "MY TOES ARE ROASTING!" "Sounds like a 'No'", observed the querier. As a consequence, Warmfoot did not win a prize. That took care of that. Having completed a raucous game of Do You Have Cold Feet, the group decided it was bedtime and they went to sleep. Warmfoot the barbarian dreamt of... 071202 ... Wikigoofia ... a giant dragon blowing fireballs. One of the fireballs casually meandered in the direction of his feet, where it struck with a fiery explosion. "AAARRRRFFFFF!" dreamt Warmfoot, "MY TOES ARE ROASTING!" He sat up in bed with a jerk, realizing it was only a dream. The waterbed jiggled, and Warmfoot noticed that several of the others in the tent were looking at him in alarm. To comfort them, he said... 080126 what's it to you? who go blather from