I am loved
OH MY GAWD!
thats all i have to say.
im SUCH a dramaqueen ive been telling this story for what seems like CENTURIES (slacker centuries) (obscure iamloved ref:1) BUT im gonna documentize it on my little web thing. .... SUNDAY NIGHT (after the BEST fucking show i've ever seen in FOREVER!)(THE HIVES ARE ALIVES AND T.I.N.C RULES) well that night in the pouring rain me+chuck+johnny+bob were in a MAJOR fucking AUTOMOBILE ACCIDENT. (send flowers and chocolates) HONEY!!!! your favorite singer, guitarist, bass player and bass players boyfriend are fucking LUCKY to be ALIVE!!!!!
we hydroplaned in the rain HIT the center divider 2X and were thrown all the way back over to the right hand lane where we crashed on a fucking WALL (in the right hand traffic lane MIND YOU!) we were all prepaired to die... cuz we were fucking SITTING duckiez!!!! we were all ready and preped to be rear ended cuz we were in the traffic lane and cars were speeding by and my car wasnt budging an inch. we woulda got hit by speeding cars if we got out of our car, so the best desicion was to stay in the car w/seatbelts on and bracing ourselves for the worst. WELL as luck has it... my hero knights in shining ARMOR CHiP's (not ponch, but a semi cutsie john type, VERY BUTCH) CAME TO OUR RESCUE... these cops were SO fucking cool they were like, LOOK your gonna die if you stay here so we gotta push you off the freeway w/our car... they're like.. your in the line of traffic.. we're like WE KNOW WE KNOW so they fucking PUSHED us off the freeway w/their cute little cop car and stuff and we were SAVED!!!!!!!!
these cops RULED!!! they didn't even AXE for my drivers liscense... since no other cars were involved we fucking LUCKED out!!!!!
i wish i knew their names so i could send them gorgeous little things in the mail... but thats my trauma for the week... my car got TOTALLED but we're all OK ... bobs the worst outta all us.. but i think he's doin' alright. if you see him, buy him a beer (he's the one kissing chuck and/or holding hands and/or hugging and/or being the cute couple) GOD YALL we are really lucky to still be your favorite band (alive) next to THE HIVES... WHICH LEADS ME TO MY NEXT SUBJECT read over there to the left about this fucking AMAZING ass show!!!!
122401 = DEAR FUKING DIRTY BITCHIE ASS WHORE DIARY, YOU FUCKING SLUT, hi! ok its christmas eve and im at WORK! i cant even have a birthday cocktail with JEZE! DAMNIT! just kidding... yall, im SO nevous about thursday..... you know the day i go in for my SURGERY.... (reminder: flowers and jewels) but im feeling REALLY good today.... its weird how this thing works, i have no pain right now and its totally retracted back inside of me. EWWWWW . does that make you hot when i talk that way? you fucking whore diary.... ok, so ... im going out to my sisters tommorow for xboxmas and then its out to silverlake to visit with my dear bandmates/lovers shaul chuck and johnny (over at MONTYS house)(MONTY has the CUTEST xboxmas tree...and it's not even from MICROSOFT!) we went over there last night for what i would consider THE BEST rum and coke I HAVE EVER HAD! ladiez and gentlemen ... introduceing my favorite bartender since issac from the water vesel of love MONTY! the next time you take a cruz to monty carlo make sure you buy a couple extra tickets for shaul and monty... cuz then monty can mix the cocktails and shaul can play the bongos ... im telling you, girl i dont know WHY i have never put a lime in my rum and coke ..but it makes a difference. OK, so we sawl LORD OF THE LONG MOVIES last night... i loved it... being a HUGE fan of the cartoon movie from the 70's (it was like one of the first movies i ever saw) (and i havent really seen it in years, girl) i really liked it. ... BUT...... this is my critique... too much unexplained stuff going on, dear. ok, i know from GLANCING at the books and seeing the cartoon...KINDA whats going on but then LIV TYLER comes in, and i love her, she's cute and all ... but whats with all this CRYING HEART WRENCHED passion comming from... i just don't think they allowed the hobits time to really have a relationship with that character... me and siskel think that kinda came out of nowheres and i guess i can't cry unless i see true relationships going on... not just like HI WHATS YOUR NAME?.......DONT DIE I LOVE YOU DONT GO DONT LEAVE ME HERE ALL ALONE I LOOOOOOOOOVE YOU, UM, OK; HERE, I'LL GIVE YOU MY SOUL DONT DIE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. ANYHAO... well, im gonna go you shit eating slut diary, but MERRY XBOXMAS and i'll talk to you later. (ps this review of the film lord of the ouch my ass hurts movie does not reflect the viewpoints of other iamloved members...chuck LOVED it .. so did i it's just, well whatever
122101 = OH MY GAWD YALL! ok for those of youze who don't know i'm going into emergency surgery on the 27th of this month of our lord, december. SUCKIE, HUH? i have a hernia i need surgery on ... it acted up this weekend and almost got me a ride in an AM-BLANCE but i wasn't SO lucky :( ... the good news it that i will be up and adam in like a day or two .. the BAD news is that doctors orders: no singing yelling screaming or dancing for a MONTH! darlings a FUCKING MONTH? how are you all going to COPE with out me LEAD SINGER JIMMY JASMINE FOR A MONTH!!!! well, we had to cancel the el diablo show on the 15th BUT we're doing the 25th at the gauntlet for this free party being sponsered by MISTER magazine ITS GONNA BE CUTE AS HELL YALL! well im really scared about all this med shit... thats occuping alot of my thyme these daze but i'll snap out of it as soon as they GET THIS MONTER OUT OF MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! im gonna go ... bye jj
121701 = Hi yall! last night was a hoot... but you should not hesitate in HANGING THE SOUND MAN! ATTENTION SOUND MEN OF THE WORLD:::MONITORS ARE NOT REPTILIAN CREATURES THEY ARE, BUT THE KIND OF MONITORS YOU NEED TO BE CONCERNED WITH ARE THOSE LITTLE SPEAKER THINGS THAT FACE THE BAND.... THESE ARE USED FOR MONITORING SOUND THAT AS A BAND YOU WOULD GENERATE FROM YOUR VOICE OR INSTRUMENT. THESE MONITORS SHOULD BE TURNED ON! TURN THE MONITORS ON. THEY SERVE A PURPOSE AND THAT PURPOSE IS NOT TO DECORATE THE STAGE, IT IS TO PRODUCE SOUND. THEY WILL ONLY PRODUCE SOUND WHEN TURNED ON. - THANK YOU SOUND MEN OF AMERICA AND THE WORLD.
ok, now with that aside.... we had a good time. TERRY was there !!!! so was CHRIS AND PUSSY PANTS(the hot lezbo duo of the wurl) and SEAN AND ANNE-D of exhibition were there so was alot of otherz and we love you all... one of my favorites was JENN our amazing official MANIAC dancer... we got some leg warmers for that girl all ready of her! cute ass crowd we love all yall!!!! but where did DJCASH MONEY AND GOLD dissapear to, you ask? idunno they were there one minute and POOF! ok, well folks my BAD news is that i gotta git surgery ... im gonna be out of it for a while ... they say i cant do NOTHIN for like weeks... but im doing my fucking shows on the 15th and 25th EVEN IF I GOTTA DO IT IN A FUCKING WHEELCHAIR LOVE ----- I GOTTA DO IT FOR MY FANS DARLING MY FAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNSSSSSSSS! ok, i wish you could all hear me right now cuz my voice sounds similar to that of BETTY DAVIS (film star) and when i say MY FANS its really cute... ok i gotta go but first i must say how much i love RUDY BLEU im his new #1 fan. bye jj
121401 = hi diary, went out last night. i was in such a funk! (ive never said that before last night, but i like it.. im in a FUNK) anywaze.. i was like SO freaky, not depressed not gloomy . i don't know just weird like i didn't feel like i shoulda been out ANYWHERE but i was.. and shaul bought me some jager and made it all better. so we go to that wet underwear contest at the gauntlet. i knew EVERYONE in it! im like, EW! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? they were cute, though. whats this gen x bears thing all over the gauntlet. is that like the bad news bears in breaking training? is it gonna be cute? i might have to find out. im so fucking BORING, HUH? i saw djcash money last night. yeah! ok, i gotta go. if i bombard yall with flyers for my gig on sunday then SORRY but git over it! you probably need toilet paper so bring them home and wipe your ho ho with it... bye i love you jj
121201 = hi everyone! last night we went to EL DIABLO (at club 66 on sunset and vine in hollywood) this place FUCKING RAWKS!!!! we love us some EL DIABLO one of the guys that does this club is called JOHN and he's in the band SILVER NEEDLE and he's just one of our favorite peoples right now, anywaze he axed us to play on the 15th next month w/ SUGARPUSS (we lovez them, too) and so we're all esited about THAT well, afterwardz we wisked on over to AKBAR'S SUPERSTAR tuesdays with DJCASHMONEY AND GOLD and as usuall they were CUTE AS HELL and played tons of great music by the likes of US and THE HIVES and US and THE HIVES and NO IM NOT INTO US!!!! they be the BUZOMB yall! you gotta go out on tuesdays (and to THINK a few weeks ago we were all.... nothing happens on tuesdays well NOW THEY DO BIOTHCH!) ok i gotta go be a faggy worker and work IIICK! BYE JJ
121001 = dear dirty diary, you filthy fucking no good cheap ass hooker(just kidding, i'm channeling amy sedaris):
hi everyone!! freakshow on friday was CUTE! it was great seeing everyone again... everyone was there... TEXI TERRI performed and she was LUFF-LEE
that fucking woman RAWKS and stuff!
the best part is that we got to role up in my cute ass jeep.. i feel so missy elliott in that darn thing!!!!!!GOSH!!!! imagine if you will: me+johnny rollin down the fucking 2 at 4am with that top down, HONEY our tities were freezing off... look no more nipples ... i'm having SUCH a fucked up day at work today.. i just HAD to take some time off to write to my babiez and to update my news and stuff column ... i'm so sick of talking to fucked up mean and dumb people today .. i guess its just because i couldn't go to the elrey last night.. i woulda brought flowers to jack from tsol if i had... he's dreamy for a senior citizen... JUST KIDDING.. he was my idol growing up .. in the LBC yall!!! imagine this (if you will) my tiney 108lb frame and long red ass bangs following jack from tsol to cathedral of queers to some lounge act he did in huntington beach once... I LOVE YOU JACK!!! but not as much as crack... i had djcash money over this weekend. it was cute. we made him a CD for his club... SO MUCH GOOD MUSIC ONE HAS TO ASK... how are we SO cool.. are we as cool as the music we know OR is the music that we know so cool cuz we know it. ... UH..UH..IM SO GEEKIE TODAZE.. ok well im excited we get to practice tonight .. chris will be there we're writing some new songs for the sunday show... hope yall will like em ... ok, i gotta get back to this fucking bitch of a job i have... FUCK bye bye jj
i bought a new car today (cute ass yellow jeep w/tight ass fucking HUGE wheels) i SO feel like missey elliotts long lost sistah driving this thing--dadadadada-dadadadada----ANYWAZE (enough of the BAD music referenses) THE HIVES are the best fucking band on the muthafreaking PLANET (note: NEXT TO iamloved). we met up w/ DJ CASH MONEY AND GOLD (dj cash money was so fucking FINE in his iamloved t-shirt!!!!!!!!) and had coctails at this TRAGIC bar called aliby northbynortheast or something (AS WE WALKED IN THIS FUCKING TRASH AT THE BAR LOOKIN' STRAIGHT OUT-A-RIVERSIDE DUMPSTER SAYS: OH, YOU BETTER SERVE THESE ONES W/PLASTIC CUPS)(i took me so long to process that i couldnt even make a comeback)(ME:W/OUT A COMEBACK) so now i will.... LISTEN YOU TRASHY ASS INLAND EMPIRE NEVER SEEING ANYTHING BUT YER GOD DAMN DADDIEZ FARM FOR 47 YEARS UP IN NORCO LIVIN HANGIN OUT AT JACK-IN-THE-BOX GETTING FATTER AND ON CRACK AND IN ALL YER 47 YEARS NEVER GETTING ANY COCK TO SAVE YOUR TIRED ASS ALIBY EAST ENDER LIFE! YOU AINT DRINKING OUTA ANYTHING BUT DIXIE CUPS! SO GO-ON!!!!
ok that sucked .. but i'll call SHAUL and she'll read the fucker!
ok, THE HIVES were the best band i've ever seen. i loved the L7 show at the elray theater like a million years ago and that will always go down in history as one of my favorite shows but THE HIVES the FUCKING HIVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they FROZE in the middle of the 2nd song for like A MINUTE ... completely still...and then they like totally fucking spazzed out all night long ... they kept saying WHO IS THE AMERICAS FAVORITE BAND---((the crowd goes)))): THE HIVES : AND WHO DO YOU LOVE THE MOST IN THE WORLD ((((the crowd goes)))): THE HIVES!!!! and it was true.
ok, dear diary (just kidding)
112701: last night was such a hoot. i got so fucking drunk! i remember saying something about peeing on shaul during the set (i talk WAY too much shit onstage!) for those of you who care WE'RE NOT INTO SCAT! WE DON'T WEAR YELLOW HANKIES IN OUR BACK POCKETS! AND WE DON'T POO POO OR WEE WEE ON EACHOTHER! we just talk about it all the time.
SO, check it out!!!!!!!!! OUR T-SHIRTS GOT FUCKING JACKED !!!!! how fucked, huh? i forgot em at the club and called back the next day AND THEY WERE GONE..... so if you see some homeless guy wearing an iamloved t-shirt pee on him!
BUT ... i can't be too too bitter, darlings cuz AFTER THE SHOW we stumbled on over to the rage and were met with SUCH a nice reception of hottiez and hot-ettes that were at the show BUT the cutest was this one called DJ CASH MONEY $$$$ i feel a crush comming on! i hope he'll go see harry potter with me this week :)
dear diary are you there gawd its me margaret... OH MY GOD!!!! i just got my tickets for the international noise conspiracy on sunday I CAN'T FUCKING WAIT!!!!!the best part is that their playing with THE HIVES i fucing LOVE THE HIVES!!! and i've been SO into these guys latetly ever since TINC released that new album last month it hasn't left my sight SINCE!!!!
i just talked to rudy last night and we ON for mr t's bowl on the 16th yeah!!!!! i love rudy... i visit his site everyday practically... ok i gotta go, um work ... i talked to dj cash money last night.. he's going to TINC on Sunday too mmmmm.... ok, too hip gotta go ... JJ