maenad you. me. everything. 041125
daf I've been sitting in a depressed funk for a week and a half now.

Ever since the most recent distraction was taken away, the reality of my crimes against life have begun to set in.

It's unbelievable the extent of the damage that's been done by something as simple as having decided to do nothing.

This lack of fire is killing me...

A few fortunate souls have held onto their faculties long enough to perhaps recognize the energy coming off of this reaction. That is the horrified desperation of a person who finds himself staring down both barrels of time, knowing full well that the triggers have been cocked. Can't move. Can't just stand there anymore.

Action is the word of the day for the rest of this life then. So it must be if I'm to avoid dying unresolved. I don't know how to bring myself into focus..matching action to belief. Blending thought and intuition.

The memory of how is fading. The lessons learned are being obliterated by re-immersion in a monstrous insanity into which I was born..and have always been.

I am ONE these babbling mad; bouncing against the walls, talking to ourselves, bickering with shadows that are not there..
what's it to you?
who go