unbroken_rebroken
blah-ze i see you still, your cool eyes and painted smile, you know the truth, and it drives me away like a thunderhead, but its just me cutting my throat again, and again

i hurt when i am near you, i dream when your away, anger clouds my sight, sadness wears me away to my bones, because you are, and there is no shadow of a doubt, but this is just me, bleeding out and slumping on the floor behind your back

you dont turn around you dont look at me you dont see my pain, but i burn for you, i wish i never said i loved you, because now i see how frail it is, and i know youre right, stupid me, and this is just my just correction of inaccuracies you saw, this is just me dying with your dreams in my head

this is just me, dying again, again, more and more, and youre a thousand faces a new one each time and every time i believe it is real, youre my knife that i cut my throat, youre the cold sharpness i drive into my heart, cold as my open grave and dead as ash
041114
...
marked . 041122
...
unhinged it's the same everytime
i find you
i meet you
i love you
and then i
cut_and_run
allowing at least one happy memory
before you break it
for the last time
all that's left
a rotted ball of hate
i found you
i met you
i loved you
so much
that i never leave any love left for myself
broken into dust
that finds it's way back
to where it came
a rotted ball of hate
black
and broken
041122
...
blah-ze and its so fucked up, you know it, i know it,
trying to make it right in my head,
trying, failing, and you are here again,
wearing her face, and im taunting myself,
did you mean it? or am i just pushing too far?
i hate it and i need it, my pain,
but every time, its me all fucked up,
every time its me fucked up again

so im sitting here with your voice in my head,
and, dammit, youre lying to me, stop it
im lying to me and im not strong enough
kill me clean or let me free, not this darkness
to stop myself from making my mess again
i promised and broke it for you, an it
meant nothing to me and i dont think i
want to go on, but this is me and you cant
stop the bleeding once it starts

the hell with you, i know who i am,
never, proud, away, dying, ressurected
my faith, shattered, you eyes, mounring
the deecration of your shrine in my head,
in, my, mind, in my mind and music
your deafening chorus makes me fear you
you know too much, pierce my defences,
strip away the crap i wear, the lies i tell,
and you hate the person within,
you hate the person on the outside,
and this is me, broken in the dust,
and this is me, pity me, pity me,
and this is my hope beside me
050210
what's it to you?
who go
blather
from