um_hi realistic optimist i just wanted to formally introduce myself to this wonderful chaotic maelstrom of blatherers, and say that i've enjoyed running across this delicate slice of intarweb; and plan to slowly taste your bytes, here and there, and ask you not to mind my backwash too much... you might even grow to like it after a while. :F 030910 ... notme :) i look like a smile on a lonely face of a body wearing christmas pyjamas staring at a blue screen um hi i'm not this tired 030910 ... oldephebe um..hi welcome to the variegated village of solipsistic hubris and inordinate self esteem - i wish i had the scrotal fortitude to take my death blow as gallantly..sure i'm paraphrasing (and rather shoddily at that) willie with the shakes, o genious of rhetoric that he was..by the way i'm just describing myself and not neccessarily anyone else's shimmering soul water streams so.. could you tell us a story? something not sad and filled with glory? ... 030910 ... User24 um_hey, welcome_to_blather 030910 ... realistic optimist sure, oldphebe, i'll tell you a story... about the day i learned how the world works. i was enrolled in my second year at the university, seeking a fine and applied arts degree, majoring in architecture. i had experienced much hardship, and was putting in 36 hours a week in class time, another 40 hours in model building, plus 10+ hours working in sorority kitchens, plus several hours a week doing chores for the scholarship house in which i lived. in short, i was busy. i have never been much of a morning person, usually late to my first class, even when it was scheduled later. this particular semester, i had no choice. i had mandatory 8 am classes every morning. i had never been able to take naps during the day either, and as the semseter wore on, i grew more and more weary, and more and more late. by the end of the semester, i had been dropped 3 grades in one class and 2 grades in another for attendance alone. this unexpected drop in GPA was enough to get me kicked out of school based on grades. i petitioned to be let in, since this is what the school allows you to do if you protest being "let go." i waited weeks only to be denied. i petitioned a second time, and was yet again denied. i returned home for christmas break dejected and ashamed. i was hundredths of a grade point from the "kick out" line, so upon returning to school after the break, i went to plead with my instructors. could they possibly drop me one less grade due to attendance, since my work was not shoddy, it was merely my attendance, and this was not nearly so shoddy as the records indicated, since it was just tardiness to a 3 hour lab as opposed to just not going? the first professor to whom i spoke was straight off the boat from the middle east, teaching his first year at the university, and was not about to bend any rule for anyone. the second professor, however, was a clever man, and i had grown to dislike him for the pleasure i saw in his eyes when he would attempt to season a student to the rigors of architecture by just laying into their design ideas and telling them they were shit, just to see if the student could gather themselves back up and create something different, but just as inspired. he said he would think about it. i called, and he said he hadn't had time. i called and he repeated the same. finally, i called and he said to meet him in his office on friday. he never showed. nor did he answer or return any of my calls that day. nor did he show on saturday, or answer/return calls. i called on sunday, and was amazed that he was there. he said he had not had time to consider it, but if i came in, he would give me a verdict. i was smoldering at that point, but what could i do? as far as i knew he was my last hope. i arrived at his office that cold sunday, and faced a barrage of epmty rhetoric. i patiently nodded at the right parts, and even asked a question to appear interested in his bullshit. at the end he said, he had decided to say no. on this, the day before the last day i could add classes to my nonexistent schedule, if i were to be let in. he had wasted weeks of my time, and i was livid. i told him as much, now that he was worthless to me. mind scrambling that night, as i lay unable to find rest, i searched for a way out - rather a way back in to the university. i was not a poor student, nor did i deserve to be snubbed so early in my scholastic career. my teachers had told me that they thought i was going to be one of the brightest students, and were surprised as the semester had wore on, that i appeared to not care enough to come on time. this was simply unacceptable, and no matter what it took, i was going to find a way! then it came to me, my last bastion of hope, and one i had neglected to utilize. i woke the next morning, bright and early. i showered and shaved, and donned respectable clothing. at 8 am sharp, i arrived at the office of the dean of the college of fine and applied arts. the office of the man who had chided me in the middle of last semester, saying my attendance was poor and could lead to dire consequences. the office of the man who had asked me to subvert my principles and withdraw so i wouldn't get kicked out. the office of the man i had told i would not, could not quit, even in the face of such consequences. the office of the man who had decided to kick me out because the rules had said so. he was busy, his secretary told me, and i would have to wait. she shook her head at the fact that i had no appointment, yet i thought i could just waltz right in and see him, today of all days, the last day to add classes. i waited and waited and waited and waited. finally, at 2:45 pm she said he would see me now. finally, the moment of truth had arrived. (the moment of truth that was bigger than truth, as i would come to learn) knowing that i had tried every legal and proper avenue available to me, and had tried to appeal to the human aspect of each person with whom i pleaded, and that on each and every such instance i had failed, i realized that i could not stay true to my principles, and hold the world to the principles i believe in, and get the results i desired. now was the time to lessen myself that i might make myself greater. now was the time that the ends had to justify the means, now was the time that i would treat the world as it was and not how it claimed to be. now was the time i shed that cherished part of my inner child so that i could have a chance at the future i wanted. I LIED. i spun lie after lie weaving like a master fibber who never knew the white side of lie. i spun stories, and tied them to truths i had already told him. i Screamed, i Wept, and i Lied. and at the end of my spiel, at 3:45 pm, the dean handed me a piece of paper on which to add my classes, and said that if i could add classes which satisfied my college requirements, and satisfied the requirements to get back the full ride scholarship i had also lost when i got kicked out of school, that he would readmit me to the college. that gave me 75 minutes to run all over campus and take the scraps that all the other students had left. my university was famous for students not being able to fill a schedule if they had to rely on adding classes manually by going to each department themselves. the only sure way was to add them electronically, an option which was no longer available to me. i ran to each department, coming up with a schedule on the fly, fulfilling requirements at each step, and forging forth with a determination i had grown accustomed to all last semester... but this time it would get me the results i sought, i HAD to! by 4:30, i had done what the dean had deemed impossible, and was back in his office with the evidence. incredulous, he accepted the piece of paper, and readmitted me to the university. i was on the highest probation possible both for my scholarship and for the school. i got the best grades of my college career that semester, and even got away with dropping the calculus class that i knew i wouldnt pass but had to sign up for to get readmitted. i graduated in an entirely different college with an entirely different degree, and still had my scholarship to pay for most of it. and i learned that sometimes you have to be a realist in this world to get what you want, but that i would never let them completely crush the optimistic child inside of me. i will hold onto that part of myself and hold it more dear than my own well being. i'm not sure if there was enough glory in there for you, oldphebe, but its the story i had to tell. 030910 ... cymoril you're_so_fucking_beautiful 030910 ... realistic optimist *blush* thank you! 030910 ... oldephebe that was a tour de force true lesson for us all!!!! very inspiring!!! what did you finally wind up getting your degree in if you don't mind my asking? later, ... 030911 ... oldephebe if i'd had your passion and resiliency and penchant for peering into meatus of the human condition back when i was matriculating, i probably would not have had to start over again at three different colleges - ingenious really, and with that kind of intrepid, tenacity there's probably not too much anything or anyone can do to thwart your career/life objectives very inspiring story - now look whose got the chills um..later, ... 030911 ... User24 realistic optimist: your story is told with realism and feeling, truth and sincerity, the likes of which I do not have the fortune to come across often. 030911 ... realistic optimist my undergraduate degree was a Bachelor of Sciences in Liberal Arts and Sciences; majoring in Psychology, and with an undeclared Philosophy minor. 030913 ... realistic optimist here i sit at the helm of an unfamiliar computer,mourning the shreds of my lost data. i was only trying to help out my roommate! i had no way to know that hte hard drive from the computer he had purchased from his brother was riddled with viruses. i do not know how long it will be until i can find my way back online. i will miss the cool comfort of the blue screen, and the sultry and inspiring words found here. keep the blue warm for me, i plan to return as soon as i am able. 030922 ... realistic optimist from the pits of despair i have risen to plod my course, perhaps even to dance it once again. fair warning to you all, i have full use of my computer once again!! 031006 ... mon ;) 031006 ... notme broken? 031006 ... oldephebe ditto 031006 ... realistic optimist yay after 2 days of not loading for me, it works again! 031006 ... oldephebe realistic optimist - you got serious skillz brah..much props 031007 ... realistic optimist thank you sir. it is nice to be appreciated by those who have skills which i, in turn, respect and appreciate. 031007 ... pipedream gettin all sparkly hellllloooooo *hug* 031008 ... cupcake wow! realistic optimist, i really like how you write! 031008 ... realistic optimist oooh! a sparkly hug! yay! not only did i get a hug when i reallly needed one, but i will always have these sparklies to remind me of pipedreams hug! 031008 ... realistic optimist thanks, cupcake, but don't you write with your fingers too? ;) 031008 ... Nukemall Just here as part of a stalk and I've now officially been to this particular page twice. I'm patting myself on the back at the moment. Oops, think I sprained something. Oh shit, ripped my shirt too. ROFL Hey mon! 031009 ... pipedream yup, you keep 'em sparklies safe and shiny, you never know when they might come in handy *grins at R.O* 031009 ... mon oh_my_gosh hides 031009 ... stork daddy hi 031009 ... sans nom ih_mu 031010 ... Lemon_Soda That was a great story, realistic. The fact that its true makes it even better. Glory is definantly ivolved here. "Hold fast when