things_i_want_on_a_tshirt sabbie wandering through the yellow pages, i found a christian religious organisation called 'company of sinners' i was going to ring them and find out if they did indeed sell tshirts, but i was at work, so i couldnt. i so want a tshirt with 'company of sinners' on it and their address and everything. or one with 'you're not expected to understand' printed on the back. i love that. 010525 ... Casey mine would either say "Don't expect me to know" or "If you can read this, then you know how to read." (Kind of dumb, but what can you expect for only 30 second of thought) or I would make a hypocrite one...I would put the American Eagle or Nike logo on the front then put "I am an individual on the back" 010525 ... mmm "i stole this shirt" 010525 ... sabbie 'maybe i am' 010611 ... dB "Don't Panic" "I May look like a troll, but I'm OK" "Drumr" "Wot?" "I May look like Jesus, but I'm OK" 010611 ... mmm i got an abercrombie stirh the other day and i wrote "selling you a personalitly for 109 years" on the front, and "baaah. am i popular now?" on the back. i confused quite a few preps 010611 ... sabbie maybe getting one of those shirts that have 'meat is murder' on the front and writing 'murder tastes good' on the back. even vegeterian's have a sence of humor pollyanna. (with thanks to those charming boys from killing_miranda for the idea) 010611 ... unhinged the world is my ashtray 010611 ... kingsuperspecial how about "this one goes to 11?" or (on back of shirt) "if you were me, you'd be right here by now." or " beer " 010611 ... kingsuperspecial uh, that last one got lost in the html. it's , etc. 010611 ... Dafremen Sto0pid Rulez! (My wife made one. It looks great!) 010612 ... kingsuperspecial I want one that says 'BOOTY CALL' and has my phone number on it. (a) easy 010616 ... black-dyed gel product I wear a lot of t-shirts by the serial killer company; i don't really wear the toned down ones that you see at the mall like the Reservior Dogs shirt were the guys have guns to each others' heads. I prefer the more disturbing ones that you have to search around for, like my Scarface "never give up" shirt where Pacino is shooting up the room, or my Apocalypse now "charlie don't surf" T. Those kind of shirts amuse me. But perhaps I've said too much; if you see a guy walking down the street with a silence of the lambs "psychopath" shirt in which hannibal lecter is eating a guard, it might just be me. Now as for what I'd like on a shirt, I'd like to see Flipper in a can of tuna with a caption that says "He's not faster than industry;" a t-shirt with a couple of guys wearing t-shirts and a caption that says "poseurs," just for the sake of irony; a homeless guy beating the shit out of a kid with a skateboard, no caption; stephanie from Full House (the middle kid) with a caption that says "Drugs are for children;" and, finally, Santa Claus with a caption that says "FAT FUCK." 010617 ... baby satan a slab of concrete being molested by a pair of salad tongs. 010617 ... unhinged concrete...salad tongs...hhhmmm 010617 ... "BUTT IM BORD" hummmmm. "I'm Spiritual" "Fuck me I'm worth it" "where's Christopher Robin?" "I'm looking for my friend" "teach me" "I need a doctor I'm a wierdo" "Whats that mouse tail between your legs?" "I love seals" "Centre of the Cosmos" "Why did Kenny Die?" "I'm lonely" "fuck off, you frigid piece of meat." "what's the time Mr. Wolf?" "Kiss me I'm dieing" "I'm looking for drugs, do you want to approach me in an orderly fashion?" " I'm soooo god dame BORING, don't even bother trying to talk to me ." "I'm Arrogant And Prowd of It!" "Piss OOFFFFFFFF I prefer to watch" "KumBYarrrrr me Lord .....ARMEN.... ding ding." "I'm going to SPACE anyone want to come?" "One Penny too many" 010618 ... ummmmm...........pickle jar stawbery "I'm dispexic, please forgive my, disorderment" 010618 ... Doc Zietz I want that Make 7 Up Yours t-shirt. Far funnier than the drink Sprite shirt. 010618 ... MollyCule bettybowers.com offers a shirt which says "you make jesus vomit" I once made a shirt with a sharpie that said "Hi my name is ________. If I am lost, take me to the nearest clocktower." 010618 ... sabbie this comes from a card game called 'lunch money' "Jesus hates you and SO DO I" its so beautiful... 010619 ... sick frog land who do you most want to fuck on this planet ? why don't you look in the bloody trees then? "I'm Sick Mate" 010619 ... bijou "just roll me in the pool." 010620 ... mmm just roll me one 010701 ... black-dyed gel product "GIVE ME MY WALLET BACK AND GET OFF MY SISTER, YOU FUCKING WHORE!" 010702 ... User24 "Normal People Are Weird." 010703 ... User24 All_Your_Base_Are_Belong_To_Us is what I would have. 010703 ... Sol printed very small on the front of the Tshirt on the bottom? Saftey proceedures. If you are experiencing blackouts or dizzyness due to oxygen deprivation come up briefly for air escape routes are accessable here, here and here pull to inflate 010703 ... Sol Id come over and talk to you, but you are ugly and smell 010703 ... Sol Im lost please take me to the nearest bar and supply me with alchohol 010703 ... Sol If you see me I have escaped and lost my medication, please return me to your local government research station DESPERATE Desolate Jazz Musician, please supply with drugs money and sex the sum of my parts is greater than the individual total when having tripped on whalemeat, although the truth behind the albatross wanderings is thought to be lost in time, it can be determined by the nightime wanderings of snails when exposed to to much trisha on television. the hypotenuse of the two lines created by disembodied leg laying on the sunbaked beach in lower mesopotamia and the tree i just felled behind your house. the horse that is currently shivering because the tread used to create this T shirt was taken from it has been expatriated and sent to antarctica, i regularly get postcards from the people who discovered its frozen body, white and nibbled upon by holiday making polar bears. The 39.5 penguins consumed every day by the occupants of my underpants are reared by hand by 300 tireless dwarves, all of which have purple hair and see through teeth. the air is becoming opaque around me as i prepare to spontaniously combust, please stand back already dead im an artist, im meant to be comatose dont worry everyone gets old someday you dont look inteligent to read this t shirt sorry i have to count my amoeba sorry i have to get my cronic herpes cured first sorry i shall be shampooing my hamster thast night i may look nice but i bite I preferr to think of myself as mentally challenged sorry i have to think of names for my stubbles sorry im having my cornea removed with a spoon I eat rust how about you? have you seen my father? hes just escaped from high security jail i eat dog to adopt this poor unfortunate third world child ring this number and donate money ........... (my number) (of course im not publishing it on the net, sorry) 010703 ... unhinged i survived 5 weeks of chamber music hell in milwaukee and i'll i got was this lousy violin hickey 010724 ... Gollum "I would kill you if your life didn't suck" 010724 ... witchbaby We're all devo. 010725 ... sabbie i saw this one on a bumper sticker, but i think it will make an approprate front door note for our next house (well, 'trespassers and salespeople will be turned into TOADS' didnt work so well, people still tryed to sell us stuff and broke in and things) GOD BLESS THE FREAKS 010725 ... Annie111 "If you are one of those people who wears smartass t-shirts, just shut up." 011128 ... Norm I've got a shirt that says "Hi my name is ________ and if I am too drunk to know where I like, please return me to... address_______________ city______ prov.______ postal code______ (if out of province, please send next day C.O.D.)" 011128 ... Norm "I listen to country music." I'd wear it too a skate park and hope for fun. 011128 ... niki I made one for when i went to see my friend's band play it said "Do Me Rhett" in sparkly letters he got jealous when some of my friends said we would wear a "Do Me Brandon " shirt to the Incubus concert so I made one for him got quite a few looks...a couple more people have asked me to make and wear one with their name on it 011128 ... whoknows this is actually already on a shirt. and i want it... never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups 011128 ... ClairE Ha, I like Annie's. I have one that says "fun". F-U on the front and -N on the back. Lisa has one that says "beat the brat with a baseball bat". She made it. 011128 ... sabbie i want to wear this one to work: 'i'm not paid enough to care' 011206 ... Tank Cunt_Snot on the front www.tankgreen.com on the back 011207 ... yoink ballsweat 020109 ... Fli Change from a $20, No such thing. or Fuck me gently with a chain saw. or Speak into the Microphone. or How Does it Feel to Want? or I Gotta Go! 020110 ... lost i'm not racist i hate everyone. 020111 ... Teenage Jesus Osama Bin Oswald 020111 ... yoink Stab Yourself. or Herpetic Earhole 020112 ... god no_words_over_this_part 020112 ... kelli crane whoever wrote i'm looking for drugs would you like to aproach me in an orderly fashion is brilliant! i haven't laughed so hard in a long time. 020113 ... kelli crane my honor student kicked the shit out of your honor student 020113 ... kelli crane my honor student kicked the shit out of your honor student. 020113 ... kelli crane WHY?!??? 020113 ... lost kill me if you can 020205 ... lost scar(r)ed 020205 ... niki "i'm not wearing anything under my clothes" 020205 ... silentbob Honk if you [heart] Weezer 020206 ... carne de metal If you're close enough to read this, step back now. 020206 ... misstree the plaguebearer boyfriend has a home made "oh, look, a party" shirt, always a hit at the frat parties. *ahem.* at goatlair.com they have "meat is murder. tasty, delicious murder." *bouncebouncegrin* 020207 ... Mateo one that says if you like this shirt ask me if I´ll give it to you. And I woud carry around a bag with extra shirts. 020213 ... carne de metal one that says: 100% carne de metal 020213 ... don francisco this is it 020214 ... Scarlet Bathtime Is More Fun With Friends. thats gonna be my next project. I have a shirt that I made that says "Stupid Girl" on it, and the manager from Journeys in the mall had me make him 10 different shirts. "Daddy's Little Girl" "My Band Sucks" "Yes, I have a Perm" "smelly" "NASTY" and some more I can't remember. I had to tell people that I didn't do it anymore because I could have started a large business with all the kids wanting me to make shirts, and that kinda conflicts with my JOB, because we sell stupid shirts like that. 020214 ... phil "president" with little targets all over the shirt 020214 ... ilovepatsajak "sorry about your penis." 020214 ... TK "What if the Ho-key-poke-E really is what life's all about?" 020215 ... Mateo Yk good one!. here is mine: "my sperm count is pretty low" I was really inspired when I rhought that one out. 020216 ... Toxic_Kisses Thanx! Took me a sec to fig yours out, I thought why on earth would any one want to advertise that about them-selves? Than I realized well if you have low sperm count than tha chic you’re w/ is less likely to become preggers, your pretty clever Mateo! Another thing to put on a T-shirt "I'm really easy to get along w/ once you learn to Worship Me" 020216 ... hey now! or is he saying his sperm count is low to imply that he gets laid a lot? 020216 ... PHIL no 020216 ... Grievance i don't know how many of you have watched Evangelion, or know who gainix is, but I once saw a really mean(litterly) t-shirt saying: "Gainix destroyed the world and all I got was this lousy t-shirt" 020216 ... Grievance "All Your Base Are Belong To Us" and then on the back, the same thing in l337. "4[[ j00r b453 4r3 b3[0n9 70 u5" (see: All_your_base_are_belong_to_us ) 020216 ... fli What? 020216 ... fli T-shirt which has an "I" on the front and "Me" on the back. 020216 ... Mateo One that says Im wearing this shirt the wrong way around. 020216 ... dionysos "Information gladly given, but safety requires avoiding unnecessary conversation" .......................................... (from sticker above SF MUNI bus drivers) 020308 ... Toxic_Kisses "BUll SHit!" "Can't see the forest for the Bushes!" 020308 ... Syrope right across my breasts: "they don't have names yet" 020309 ... yummyC "crap" (so said Nimai this morning in the idle chat following a night of things we reeeeally shouldn't have been doing. together.) 020309 ... minnesota_chris I had one that said, in BIG BIG letters: YOU DON'T KNOW ME and under it was a logo The Federal Witness Protection Program 020311 ... Mateo This is not a shirt. signed magritte 020614 ... sabbie what_would_jello_do 020729 ... cheer-up-emo-kid and its not funny like on tv 020818 ... jane pen 15 020818 ... akenbosche DIE. biggest letters that'll fit on it 030120 ... Piso Mojado dyslexics of the world unite! (with the letters written backwards and upsidedown) 030121 ... mags I'd like one that says "Super wasted", and one with "Super duper wasted", so I can use them on sundays (mainly). "We are artists. We are sensitive and important" (from a Tindersticks song) 030121 ... p2 water 030122 ... wish~ "I have PMS." on the front "F U N K" on the back of shirt, and then carry a haversack around, so it looks like, "F U [someletter] K" that would catch people's attention. 030123 ... DavesHeroinGirl Things_I_Want_Under_My_Tshirt 030124 ... phil "enter facing up" 030211 ... unhinged i designed it yesterday and i bought the sharpie last week 030211 ... MDogMA i just bought one online that said "there's a picture of two people fucking on the back of my shirt" and on the back "just kidding praise jesus" with a picture of jesus giving the victory sign 030211 ... jane did you get that from tshirtsfromhell.com? 030212 ... armoredshoes "Tadpoles! Tadpoles is the winner!" 030213 ... MDogMA yeah actually i did get the t shirt from there that place is awesome crazy shit from wall to wall 030217 ... jane a couple of my favorites from that site: what would jesus do? (for a klondike bar) i fucked the girl in hanson and i like the one that you have 030217 ... sabbie Snarling for Jesus or Snarling for Satan or You People Shit Me 030305 ... methinx craving more phisical contact (insert hug here) ...or Kiss me, I'm unstable! 030305 ... Diabla "one by one the puinguins steal my sanity" across boobs: " objects in merrior are larger than they appear" on back: " dont look at my ass sicko" " I wasn't at work today baecuse the voices in my head said 'stay home and clean the guns' " "save a horse, ride a cowboy" across boobs: "guess what it lookes like YOUR doing" " i've got extra milage" " you laugh at me because i'm different, i laugh at you because you're all the same" "shit happens...but at least mine smells good" "you smell like a pig... dont talk to me" "Approach with extream caution" " i'm only smiling 'cuse i've got no clue whats going on" "I'm busy you're ugly case closed" 030507 ... Rowbes Welcome to Kansas: Missourri loves company. was here. 030507 ... fall of a sparrow I would definitely buy all the t-shirts that Black-Dyed Gel Product came up with above. My own aren't even funny in comparison. 030513 ... joda Bootleg T-shirt Emporium 030513 ... pobodys nerfect ~Yes,I really am "THAT OLD" ~Actually,I'm too tall to be a midget... (in responce to comments that I look "just like" my sister): ~You're a poor liar ~You're legally blind, aren't you? ~Being that she's tall,blonde and has no hips whatsoever, and I'm short with an hourglass figure and black hair, just what the hell made you come to that conclusion? 030514 ... fall of a sparrow I take it back. I'm a Latin geek so I definitely want some Latin t-shirts. Case in point: EGREGIUS SPOLIAM "Extraordinary with respect to booty." 030515 ... minnesota_chris "I have candy" 030917 ... misstree when i married puppycrusher, he was wearing a black t-shirt with huge white letters: SHUT UP BITCH. 030917 ... smurfus rex I want a still picture from Boondock Saints where Rocco is pulling his hair back, holding his gun and screaming "SHHHHHHUT your FAT ASS, Rayvie! I can't buy a pack of smokes without running into NINE guys you FUCKED!" I love that part. :) For my second shirt, I want Tyler Durden's face looking straight out with the caption "You're not your fucking khakis" 030917 ... karl the weed "jesus loves me more than he loves you" 030917 ... camille may be used as a flotation device?? grinning 030917 ... sabbie on the back of a black shirt in white letters the words: Clean Slate 030918 ... User24 ahem, I had a few cool ideas, but of course, (predictably) having read everything above, I've now forgotten. oh well. a tribute to abbie hoffman: 'steal this T-Shirt' 031025 ... nomatter I just told someone (I always remember events, but not people.) that I need a shirt that says: I AM SIXTEEN so that all these old perveted men stop. 031025 ... sabbie "watch the nice dead people" 031026 ... niska "because nice matters" 031026 ... no reason gapathetic friends don't let friends go to *insert my school here*. 031026 ... MollyCule I made my queer friend Jeremy, on a plain black t with pink glitter paint in really, really little letters across the chest, it said "i fucked your boyfriend" He love that thing and wore it like every day. His "girlfriend" hated it, but then again, we all hated her. 031026 ... celestias shadow all of the fight club shirts i saw on eBay. my favorite SNL quote: on the front "What's the difference between you and a mallard with a head cold? One's a sick duck..." on the back "I can't remember the rest, but your mother's a whore!" to wear on my trip to South Carolina next year: "NASCAR is not a sport." "I'm wearing this shirt backwards again, aren't I?" 031104 ... niska i'm also a fan of the teen girl squad. so anything featuring them would be dope. 031205 ... meh... niska, i have a teen girl squad t-shirt... it was 12 bucks. from the website. it's got the girls in the front, and the "i have a crush on every boy" on the back. and if anyone's wondering wtf that is, it's www.homestarrunner.com "it's dot com!" 040220 ... her royal highness the quirk oh so many things. one of my favorite things to do is after i've said something particularly clever, i say "i should put that on a tshirt." but i say it so many times that i can't ever remember what i say it about. 040220 ... ItGirl "Here's a knife, put it in your stomach." "I imagine you dying and it makes me smile" 040220 ... lizzybeth i know 040922 ... The Heretic REMEMBER THE BUSH / CHANEY YEARS? 040922 ... pete "the university wont burn down by itself" 040922 ... Lila Pause "Work harder. Millions on welfare depend on you" (popular bumper sticker slogan) A chalky pink love heart with an arrow through the middle that has "Karl Marx" written inside. "Victim" in nice big letters. In general, a James_Spader themed t-shirt. 040922 ... and "Jesus doesn't really love you. He just wants to get into your pants." 040922 ... . human blood 040922 ... poet a big square. and then for when people ask what it is, the back will say "IT'S JUST A FUCKING SQUARE, OK???" 040923 ... Ivory "Help stop rape: Consent!" "Just because I'm a woman doesn't mean I have to put up with your bullshit or fake headaches." "It isn't blood! I've been grading essays." 040927 ... brought to you by 101010 happy thursday 040927 ... globalfruitbat on the front: a BIG picture of Tony Danza and the caption reads "Too Cool for School" on the back: that 'earth inspace' thingy that astronauts se and the captions reads "When My Little Pony Takes Over The Planet, I Will Be Supreme Vice Royal" 040927 ... god front: "wander risk" back: "goodbye forever until tomorrow maybe" 040928 ... Ivory "Jesus loves me -and- my tattoos." 050927 ... unhinged i still want 'the world is my ashtray' 050927 ... BUTT IM BORD yeah see, there you have it, a SATAN t-shirt (written in Coca Cola type) we still need to scratch the rest of the N out, i wonder if that clown might fit into it. 070809 ... BuTT IM BORD i want it to say SANTA so how we get the N in a different place? 070809 ... laced "Everybody knows what you did" 070913 ... Ninny nu nu "wwwwoooo that's Rich ! " & "My Mummys Rich" p.s. (Pick-Nick girl with a Scoda, i'll show you what a car is.) There is only one place in India where you can buy nice chocolate and i'm not telling you where it is. 070913 ... yoink FUCK THIS SHIT or PromiseKeepers 1995: Holy Love or I've seen the painted baseball in Dubuque and all I got was this lousy t shirt 071111 ... burden "World's Least Attentive Dad" "Does This Shirt Make Me Look Clothed?" "A Mustard Stain" "I Went to the T-Shirt Store and All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt" "Slut" (a black tee with a faux clerical collar) 071111 ... yoink Front: "Loving God Isn't Hard" Reverse: "But Enzyte Can Fix That" 071111 ... burden that isn't that funny, yoink. just offensive. 071112 ... yoink dick 071112 ... burden you're trying to enzyte a riot, aren't you? 071112 ... yoink 8===D 071112 ... redneckk oh yeah, 2 inches of fury 071112 ... .. "my dad went to iraq and all I got was this lousy T-Shirt" 071112 ... burden "I Went to T-Shirt Warehouse and All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt" 071205 ... burden "MUSTARD STAIN" 071205 ... burden wow, I double-double-posted. that's shameful. people, don't drink and blather. 071205 ... . IM A IC EA CCOS I WAER TIS T-SIRT 071206 ... ksbto dot, that's great, you should get that on a t-shirt, it'd fit your "personality" (or lack thereof) super well 071206 ... on a tshirt "my grubby hands" 071207 ... in a silent way people taking up space inside your chest may be heavier than they appear. 130207 ... z blather 130207 ... SOMEBODY left_field 141205 what's it to you? who go blather from