there_are stork daddy people in this world with very little to say. they imagine they can tell us something we want to hear about a green they see as if we aren't ennamoured with our own world enough and have time for theirs. 030608 ... x there are people in this world who would learn a lot if they would open themselves up enough to listen to the perspectives of others 030608 ... niska there are six hours until he's home. 030609 ... jane confrontations that should be inevitably avoided 030610 ... kss people in this world who could learn a lot if they weren't so busy always offering their perspective to others 030610 ... endless desire people in this world who enjoy hearing the perspective of others. though mostly because they feel if they read other's perspectives, that those people will, in turn, read theirs. yet sometimes, those people do learn something in the process. 030610 ... x you best not be referring to me, boy! 030611 ... karasu neko birds who say "mew" when they're not saying "caw" 030611 ... the awful truth there are only so many hours in a day and there are only just so many things that we could say there are so many things that we haven't lived i got so much love i got left to give i got so much love that i got left to give. there are only so many days in our lives but maybe we don't recognize it maybe we don't realize we don't see that every moment is fleeting all you have is really, greeting, then you're leaving there's giving, sure, but then there is receiving, well i am leaving. i am leaving here tonight. there are only so many minutes in a night there are only so many words you say before a fight there's nothing i can think to do. no way to make it right. and four hours left before the light. i got four hours left before the light. there are only so many leaves out on the trees so many more below decomposing there's a case for me needing you and a case for using me i don't think you want to be with me. there are only so many ideas inside my head there's ideas of pretty songs and then there's wishing i was dead there are butterflies and shit like that but then there is the rain there is beauty, ecsatsy for sure, but then there is the pain there's the trying, and the lying, pot-buying, and the crying, and the needing, and the leaving, and the never-believing, there's the acting, and re-acting, contracting, and provoking, and depression, and confession, and regression, and obsession. there is life, and strife, the fife and knife, the fingers and the strings. there is LSD and mushroom tea, and the stress of heavy things. there's the song that i set out to write, and the song it is i sing. there's the words that flow like sweat or blood or water trickling down to mud the lighter trickling down to bud and the feeling in my gut. there are only so many things that i could say besides i love you and i can't love you this way. there are only so many things that i could do besides move in with you move on from you. there are only so many apologies that i could make before you say, fuck him, for jesus christ' sake, there are only so many things that i can take before i break. before i break. there are infinite lights throughout the night when you are sent flying on a bicycle back to 7th st and 10th and there's infinite ways in which this could work but i'm a jerk. i'm a fucking jerk. there are only so many lines that i could say so many ways each of ours hearts might break only so much shit that you could fake and i could take. and i could take. well i fucking love you and that's the awful truth awful enough is what this will do to you awful enough about the tears that we have shed i wish i were dead. i wish i were dead. i really need you, a fat lot of good that that will do when you're already done with me what's through is through is through i've said it once before and i'll say it once more through: i wanna be with you. i wanna be with you. but there are so many gallons in a tank so many dollars in the bank so many dreams i want to make so many classes you need to take. so many chances that i got so many roads will lead to rot. so many candles will blow out just baby don't forget about me and in the future. i'll see you on the island. i want to be with you. i want i want and i ain't lying. well darling: don't be denying. i'm fucking crying. i'm fucking crying. 060814 ... rage so many memories i've hidden from myself and a couple i must hide from everyone else. 060815 what's it to you? who go blather from