the_real_dialect_of_loneliness Death of a Rose is spoken not with sounds, but silent gestures of body language, meant to be seen, but missed entirely. empty need correctly spoken with dull colours of paint splattered walls, imprisoned because of broken mirrors, left to be barren of satisfaction, realization conquered by hasty choices made. 040708 ... unhinged i shy away from strangers on the street and keep my eyes downcast. and i can feel their eyes on me and it makes me walk faster. all i do is think about them, you. i sat on the stoop today smoking a cigarette almost where he had sat. and the minutes ticked by too fast. and i think about it now wanting to go back to it. even though it was a horrible misery that i lived in, i want to go back to it. because upon closer examination, i had support; the clear and strong support of love holding me up with the clouds even though i didn't realize it then. i never see anything for what it is when it is. i live my life in the past with ghosts. and that is how i wake up in the morning. if your ghost wasn't near me, i wouldn't have anything. i want to be with you again. but i can't. so i walk down the street avoiding it all with a knot in my chest. i haven't seen you since you sat on my stoop. i miss you. i always want what i can't have. 040709 ... . . 040929 ... unhinged i_disappoint_me 040929 ... Syrope real pain in general can't be expressed in correct grammatical structure. broken sentences, irrational sequencing, unparallel structure, and exaggerated gestures... feeling so lonely is like being sad that you're the only one in the movie theater, so you sit in the front row so you can't see all the empty seats, but the feeling of them behind you is worse than the actual sight of them. everything i need to tell myself can really be summed up in sighs and moans, resisting or succumbing to tears, and stretching. 040929 ... magicforest oh god 040930 ... stork daddy bird eyes with no reason to stay tight. 040930 ... pSyche I'm not crazy... I'm just.. lonely 050611 ... AeonFlummox lonely? i've been lonely my entire life. they say "practice makes perfect" yea.. well... "they" say alot of shit that just doesnt apply. i would think that after 25 years... i would be used to this by now. i'm not insane. i'm just living. 050612 what's it to you? who go blather from