the_best_gift_you_ever_got Toxic_Kisses The best Gift I ever got was from Chris J. We were talking over the phone one day and he said he was eating Skittles and I off handedly said I loved the Green Skittles. @ The end of that month he gave me a medium sized jar full of green Skittles he had saved just for me after eating who knows how many bags. Yea, I've received jewelry, teddy bears and other really nice things but a jar of green skittles tops all the other pretty and expensive things any one else has ever given me. 011107 ... 8 that's pretty damned cool, I must say. 011107 ... Sonya life, love, happiness from the people who crossed my path. As for material objects...probably my Buddha pendant that I received from a Thai Buddhist temple in Berkeley. It was blessed by the monks themselves and it's not even real gold or anything. Just the fact that it was handmade and someone took the time to make it extra special and perhaps more powerful makes me feel special and protected somewhat. 011107 ... nmb my daughter...as much as I think her "father" (donor?) is a scum-sucking asshole...and much worse...he gave me the most wonderous little creature in the world, and she's all mine! 011108 ... niki the guys i sit by at school give ladies that they find particularly attractive a "moment of silence" when they pass by. if they are really "hot" they get an "ahh" at the end. after listening to them talk about it for a while I was like "okay guys change the subject" and they laughed cause they knew i was jealous. anyway, i walked away with my friend to go get some coffee and on the way back all of them stopped whatever they were doing and said "moment of silence." i even got an "ahh!" i must have turned four shades of red but i felt so special that they would do that 011108 ... ilovepatsajak how typical and boring 011108 ... A gamer hmm, the best gift I ever got... I'd have to say it's a Super Nintendo. No no, wait, it would have to be $120.00 on my birthday and christmas. :) 041221 ... Piso Mojado i got up to get more coffee. when i came back, i laughed at the huge letters he had scrawled across the table on my page of notes, BE YOURSELF ALL THE TIME 050120 ... unhinged what should be my personal mantra, as he pulled me close in a hug to whisper in my ear. i'm sure this story is already out here somewhere, but i've been thinking of him too much lately not to recount it. it was early september 2002. 5 or so months before i had finally snapped on her. of course, in her typical way she turned it all back on me in attempts to save face. at first she spent a lot of effort trying to act like nothing was wrong, but after enough sufficient ignoring on my part she finally got the hint that i didn't want to have anything to do with her. i could at least convincingly pretend (pretend being the keyword) that she didn't exist when we were in the same room together. that was probably the most effective revenge i could have exacted on her for tearing my heart out, her being the attention whore extrovert theater major that she was. when she finally got the hint she became a raging bitch of course. they were playing a show at the plaza. me and her used to go the plaza together when she didn't have any money so i could get her drunk so i wasn't looking forward to going cause i knew it was a pretty sure bet she would be there. it was her hangout because people fawned all over her on open mike night. but i wasn't not going to go just because i knew she would be there. they weren't playing out much anymore at that point and if they were going to be playing in town, i was there. i wasn't going to let some bitch that made me ill everytime i was even in the same room with her stop me from going. me and wendy got more than sufficiently stoned on the way there so i could deal. it wasn't long after i got there that i had to paste on my 'my life is fine without you, i never loved you, i don't even know who you are' face. she tried to get my attention a few times and after i physically turned my back on her she decided she would get back at me since everything between me and her was my fault anyways. i believe they were the headliners that night. they were almost always the headliners at home. you know, kinda like the hometeamfield advantage being as they were most definitely the rockingest band in at least the tri-state area. so i impatiently sat at a table with wendy smoking cigarettes through the other inferior bands trying to keep a passable distance between me and her so i didn't vomit. as soon as they started setting up, i got up and stood in front of the stage. at this point, i had relinquished my spot right in front of mike to take a cooler stance a few rows back. i didn't need to prove how much i loved their music anymore. it had been sufficiently stated at this point. she stood right in front of me, no doubt on purpose. and they started playing, and i was singing along and dancing as usual. then, she started grinding on some chick in front of me and i became still and silent. about half way through the set, mike pointed at me from the stage and then lifted the corners of his mouth with his pointer fingers in a fake smile and i just shook my head. he walked over to frank and turned his back to the crowd and started whispering in frank's ear. he looked up at me and made some similar motion but i didn't even shake my head. i just looked at him and he just started the next song. i couldn't decide whether i wanted to melt into a puddle of tears or kick the shit out of her; i definitely wanted to bolt, flee, run. but i stood there still, silent because i was there for my boys, not her. i never let her run me away from them. the show ended and there was a shot girl prowling the audience with a tray of those test tube shots. all of a sudden, she was standing in front of me holding one out to me. i stared at her, took it from her, and almost choked on the alcohol as i tried to swallow it. i don't remember if i even said thank you when i handed the empty test tube back to her and i turned to walk away. i had promised kt i would get a cd for her and i walked up to the stage to ask frank for the cd again. he jumped down from the stage and pulled me close to him in a hug (he always gave me good hugs) and whispered 'you are a special human being and i love you' because of the obvious torture i had endured during that hour. they all knew about me and her; we had made out at their shows. he had even tried to smooth things over between me and her six months before because that was how he was. he didn't like to see his friends fight. and i got a little choked up and the tears i could feel in my chest all night threatened to start pouring out and all i could say was 'thanks.' i cling to that when i feel like i meant nothing to him: 'you are a special human being and i love you' that hug with that sentence was one of the best gifts anyone ever gave me 050121 ... cant it last? Every time she stays at my place she puts another quote on my bed. When I'm falling asleep I feel her all around me. 050121 ... shivers the letter, the one you sent to me while i was at camp, and they lost it in the mail. the one u found 6 months later, and gave to me laughing. saying you couldnt even remember what u wrote. every memory 050121 ... unhinged whispered_in_the_ear 081025 ... dafremen The freedom to find out what it is that I am. Thank you Lia. 081025 what's it to you? who go blather from