CheapVodka Please, just stop! Seriously!

From the moment I wake up in the morning to the second I manage to pass out at nite, my heart thuds in my chest like something is about to fall on me. Consistently keeping my blood pumping and my brain going, seemingly never ending.

I feel caught in this loop and it's dreadful. Dreadful! I don't want to think about it anymore! Make it stop!


It's under control again. I call them contractions, and giggle about it. As if my mind is in some form of labor and the thought just never makes it out. Trapped. It's trapped!
I time these said contractions hoping they'll come further apart. Begging for a breath of air and the ability to rest.

All I can do is clutch my throat and look up at the sky. What am I looking for? I can't breathe! I can't ever fucking breathe! What it must be like to take a breath of fresh air and truly enjoy it.

Oh, I indeed feel stifled. Suffocated is the very definition, the very core of what I feel.
Risen To stifle is to smother, to put your hand over a mouth and deprive something of oxygen.

To be stifled is to not be free. To be constricted. Like Gulliver waking to find himself tied down by a hundred tiny wires. To be less than you are.

To stifle words is blasphemy.
epitome of incomprehensibility My mother used to use this word as a single sentence, meaning something in between (polite) "Be quiet" and (aggrieved) "Shut up!":

small e_o_i: One plus one is two and two plus two is four and...

M: Stifle!
e_o_i "To stifle words is blasphemy" - oh yes, I agree, at least it is something bad, a harbinger of oppression you could say, but to stifle numbers is sometimes the sane person's last resort. (And thirty-two thousand seven hundred and sixty-eight plus thirty-two thousand seven hundred and sixty-eight is sixty-five thousand five hundred and thirty-six.) 140308
Risen ...Okay, that made me giggle. Numbers can be stifled! 140309
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