self_rejection phil This is horrible, time consuming, pitiless fight with ones own judgmental view of right and wrong. Sensing a capability to harm ones own physical identity, the freedom to relive failed experiences is removed. Once entered into self rejection the person feels incapable of self control, or soul_connection is lost, leaving you incapable and overwhelmed with loathing. Commonly seen as a funk. Any actions which seperate you from the intentions of this containment will further disrupt your control: :the body enters a hypnotic state, dillusional sets exhibiting stress are diliberatly brought on by the subconcious. During this time your actions will correspond completely to the intentions of your formal lost identity. or DEATH In realization of this conflict, efforts are subverted into a subconcious challenge, until alternative, intentional actions are thought of to allow for these more severe restrictions to be lifted, and control replaced. 020521 ... phil After some time even the subconcious becomes irradic and confused. Then you're not even a human being just a full blown paranoid psychotic schizophrenic. With multiple disorders, all of which I should add, require different medications. 020521 ... silentbob in cases of pregnancy where something is wrong with the baby the body will terminate it. i wonder if that can also happen with yourself. if you can abort yourself. that's kind of a gross thought 020521 ... canidothat i think i will just reprogram my view of right and wrong and the view/values of judgemetal attitudes. that will be easier. 020521 ... unhinged i've made a habit of it and it's starting to bleed over to him. 020521 ... pandora who cares 040410 ... beth i don't care about you chris anymore you can do whatever but SOOooooo I don't give a damn about WRITING either fuck that I'm happy to leave it all behind me goodbye,goodbye goodbye to me goodbye to you Fuck writing fuck songs i really don't give a shit anymore 040410 ... ethereal if andrew could blathe...he'd blathe right here. 040410 ... Syrope it's not gross sb. it's cleansing. it's for the better of the bigger picture. now hand me a towel for all this blood 040410 ... Borealis andrew doesn't need to blathe all he needs to do is look at you 040410 ... birdmad the internal, born from frequent repetition of the external 040413 ... Syrope i like that, stricken_birdmad 040413 ... unhinged if everyone else has the right to make me miserable, then i have the right to make me miserable. they say all you need is a shift in perspective that the sun will come out tomorrow but what if the sunshine makes you sick? what if pain has turned all your tomorrows into yesterdays? and most tomorrows are only a continuation of abyssmal todays and you wake up to the same routine teeth face shit coffee clothes bus stop cigarette the same tired little path and the only way you know is tired and alone but it's you that's wrong your perspective your strident belief that tomorrow will NOT be better because it never has been better but only because you didn't make it so there are those of us too easily beaten and suaded by the life going on around us that tells us so i_am_nothing because of what i don't own because of what i don't look like because of what i don't care about i_am_nothing because i don't agree with you and it's my fault if it were only that easy to change what i believe to shift my perspective because when the sun comes back it only reminds me that you are still there 040414 ... dreamer Why self reject? You are the only person who, on every account, will be there for yourself. You can be your best comfort. Self-comfort. 050305 what's it to you? who go blather from