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self_mutilation
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moonshine
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I wish i could make her stop
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000615
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silentbob
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she takes a bath, exposing her thighs. the water goes from clear to red in a matter of minutes.
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000709
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SickSadDaria
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3 friends
1 does it
1 does it
1 worries
----------
3 self mutilators
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001220
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j_blue
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i dont understand it.
i have 2 friends, who do it sometimes.
when they need to, they say.
they dont do it regularly; one does it when he is clinically depressed, the other does it when he becomes upset and wants to be cared for.
it makes them feel better.
i dont understand.
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001221
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Cat^.^
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sometimes the fire in an arm is better than the tear in an eye...
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001229
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daxle
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seems so tempting
I screamed and screamed and beat my head against the steering wheel
which caused me to almost drive off the road
which of course made me wonder what exactly I would have to do to make sure I died in the accident, and wasn't just pathetically paralyzed
all this seemed to chancy
better to wait until I get home
bleeding is so much more fun than dying
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001229
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ripewithdecay
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IT IS EITHER GREAT OR I AM JUST COMPLETLY FUCKED UP..ok ok i do not mutilate because i am depressed i used to but it didnt do shit..so now i do it kuz its just fuckin kewl blood is fucking great and the scars? i fucking love all my scars...the only place i can cut myself now is my tits the only place really that my mom cant see ha i kno how fuckdd that sounds....well anyway its great i love mutilation..maybe ima just a fucked sado-masochist but hell it makes meh happy so fuck you...
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001229
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Thyartshallshant
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I'm depressed.
And I'm suicidal.
As we speak.
*pauses for thought*
*searchs for the right words*
Self mutilation. I guess it works for me only because i hate myself. i hate myself. To me, it doesnt matter if i die or if i just self mutilate. As long as im in pain.
Im in counsiling now, but i still want to feel the pain, but not surpringly, all my razor blades have dulled from the skin they have cut, the blood still dried along the metal edges.
As i type these sentences, a sit in apprehension.
I dont know why i keep typing this.
What's a thy to to?
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001230
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cazzi
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that all sounds too familiar
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001231
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focus
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she collects the scars like trophys. i don't need a blade to feel myself hurt. she does it for me. she doesn't know the sharpness of her own actions.
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010320
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13lue
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...cutting makes everything seem better and now it's a habit or reaction you could say. when i get mad or upset it's what I do and it helps but now that people know it's harder to hide it but for some weird reason it feels better...
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010321
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alegra
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razor blades love teenage flesh.
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010410
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CheapVodka
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a basic process of freeing myself when I have writer's block. My doctors say that perhaps it's unhealthy. I say, "hey, it's not like I'm going to kill myself." If you asked me to stop I'd prolly end up taking my own life. The way I see it is: They raise you in your childhood that "it's your body" and "only you can control what happens" like in all those sexual harassment movies and stuff. Well it's my body and if I do feel that this is how I get rid of it all...then why exactly is that so wrong. If I do it to where I know it won't kill me and it makes me feel better... who is it hurting? I wouldn't do it if I thought it hurt. And even if I got to the point where I wanted to take it all the way... then that should be ok. People these days have gotten themselves all caught up in emotion and attachment to others that they've become selfish. If I wanna take my life, I will and I don't wanna be saved. I died once but they revived me because the doctor thought something like, "I won't let one die on my table!" Fuck that. It's my life to take. I'm not hurting anyone else... I'm doing what I feel is right. That is enough for me, shouldn't it be enough for everyone else?
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011104
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nemo
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dont worry i still love you
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011104
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unhinged
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attachment is a sticky thing my tongue cleans up so nicely
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011104
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CheapVodka
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slice myself
until i bleed
and i need
something
anything that proves
i'm free
and i cry
so i bleed
and i'm sad
so i bleed
and i'm depressed
so i bleed
in this fuktup world
i had to find security
in bleeding
and it's sad
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011104
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Mahayana: Zakah:
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[smolder 'felo-de-se' smolder]
My lighter is on fire it *is* fire
geared up to glow solace-ital releases
of sorts... pressure gauge gauging the anxiety one just can not receive surrounded by this humankind any longer
[smolder 'felo-de-se' smolder]
winter is falling/yet you are no where near able 2 catch her/let us be burried by the snow/you once pronounced/rather i deemed it your desire that i shall be the one sole climber of that/avalanch/ ache, misery, pang, stitch, throe, twinge, discomfort, distress, hurt, suffering, agony, torment, torture/status quo/let it snow/let it snow/let it snow/ FREE, discharge, emancipate, liberate, loose, loosen, manumit, unbind, unchain, unshackle, acquit, exculpate, exonerate, relinquish, resign, surrender/so i discharge in the veins of a pyro addict/with lighter in hand/upside down/hard-pressed/up against internal skin of arm/ 1.....2......3..../
the weir has been on the rampage/ purge purge/eradication of all within/ that shall keep me at this juncture/
[smolder 'felo-de-se' smolder]
crimson inflamed smiles left in the rear as of flamey tip tops of lighters once on_fire
[smolder 'felo-de-se' smolder]
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011227
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sabbie
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and the blood ran down my arm
like the tears i could not shed
and if it hurt outside
then, maybe, it would stop hurting inside
for a second
just a second
anything to take away the pain
if only for a second
gods.
i didnt think it would still hurt
jsut to think about it.
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011228
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pushpins
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"i don't need your pushpin lecture!" He said, his smile fading. I glared. Obviously he did, otherwise he wouldn't be sticking pushpins into his arm and leaving them there, all day, hidden by the soft cotton of his longsleeved shirt. They were his silent pain, but the giddy pleasure he got from the secret made him spill it. Tell me about how he hurts himself. So nonchalant.
Well, darling, I don't tell you about my self-inflicted pain. I don't let you know the details of the actions. I don't tell you how good it feels to see that shiny silver blade swimming in my blood, like a sharks fin. back and forth.
I don't hurt you, I don't hurt you, i want to save you. I want you to not need this, i would rather soak up the pain like the already damp sponge that I am, than see you hurt so badly and eagerly share stories of your scars and your pushpins.
"sometimes I wonder if you really do care," he said. How could you wonder? Why would you even let such a thing float across your mind? Of course I care! But if I haven't proven myself, I don't know how else I can. I am lost, I am defeated, and maybe I am your pushpin.
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011228
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reitoei
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don't christians punish themselves to do penance? makes you wonder.
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011229
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Mahayana: Zakah:
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Warning: failure to follow instructions may result in burn injury
Scripto:
[your warning/my instructions]
[[another individuals garbage/another individuals art materials]]
[[my instructions/your warning]]
dear Scripto
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020102
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distorted tendencies
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Is a fashion statement.
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020102
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birdmad
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every time i complete one of my tarot illustrations, i mark it somewhere with a few drops of blood
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020102
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yummyC
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he cried red tears tonight,
blurring his sight.
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020102
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Mahayana: Zakah:
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if;
SM or SI
is a fashion statement
than;
chemotherapy must be
a new trend
[SI... its not a trend... its a way 2 live]
[[i burn 2 feel. i feel 2 live. i live 2 feel something more /someday/]]
[[[my fashion is never seen, for it is not a statement... it is a way 2 life]]]
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020102
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pushpins
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hidden fashion hidden fashion, lets be trendy underneath our shirts, lets be 'in' on hidden corners of the skin, lets be trendy, 17 magazine told me this was cool...
brag about your scars, wear them as proud badges...
self mutilation is only a fashion statement to those who don't feel it.
...covered scars cry through my bra and shirt, this is the new thing to do, its the new thing to do, accept me, accept me,
if its such a fashion statement...why am I not showing them to anyone?
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020102
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MollyCule
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my hand is a magnet, my blade is metal. my left wrist the target. my exacto knife floats between the two, rearranging, reshaping, fixing the lines i thought would stay forever, letting everything go in a rush of red
my hand is a magnet, i try not to pick it up, but my hand is a magnet. so many things i never should have touched.
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020313
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Daria
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I have a scar on my arm that says CUTTER,
I got it when I was at a party,
then I made it look better.
Now it kinda puffs out,
I think I must be making you people sick.
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020313
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strawberrie
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fashion statement???
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020717
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Freak
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I would do more if it wasn't for the damn scars
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020717
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neverender
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so trendy nowadays..."come on, all the COOL kids are doing it"
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020717
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freakizh
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it must be hard, so hard
with your head on backwards
see: dear_dad
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020721
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poeticmisfit
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it hurts,
it feels good,
the pain on the outside somehow draws your pain out from the inside.
revenge,
confusion,
fear,
no where else to turn.
its what you know to do,
its what i can feel when i can't feel any more.
its what is mine.
its me.
if you can't understand it,
then you can't understand me...
(and i am left misunderstood which leads to my pain.)
*a never ending cycle*
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020722
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carving the holiday birdmad
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to all the people woho think the urge to take a blade to your own flesh is some new fashion statement let me reply with a kind and courteous "Fuck you"
the ignorance of some people never ceases to astonish me
hate to burst your bubble, O clueless one(s), but some of us have been doing this (in largely secretive manner, cutting where no one can really see it most of the time) since many here on blather were small children
i haven't done it in a few months but nly for because i haven't had the motivation to buy fresh blades, but all told, i have been slicing away at random patches of skin since i was 14 and i'm 30 now
it's an urge, a compulsion, kind of like the one that drives some people to run off at the mouth without really having the first clue what they are talking about
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020722
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cheer-up-emo-kid
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its a fashion statement to some people and a living to others.
it used to be my life.
when I was little (around 9) I would trace spots on my legs with a razor when I was in the bathtub. the spots I would trace is what I would cut off if I were a doctor. I thought I was fat.
I didnt know there was such a thing as self mutilation, I just thought I was a bad person.
I stopped this year because my boyfriend told me that he would burn himself with a cigarette every time I did it.
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020722
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eddie vedder
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"I've got scratches all over my arm...
one for each day since I fell apart"
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020722
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jane
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back in the day i used to use my razor in the shower and run it over my knuckles quickly just to see the blood appear and run down like red water
now my knuckles have scars, and my cousin said they look like bug bites
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020723
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Kil_me*softly*
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I have a pain in my heart
that feels much better
when Im making my mark
on my arm is where you'll see
all my scars that they have made of me
Its a |
