sad_bastard past god damn. i hope not. but i fear so. fuck. words fail. music sustains. i miss what i don't have haven't had for so long but still can feel and know (hopefully) and remember, at least through observing my friends. we'll see this week who knows who knows (not me) gods. (there cannot be one. its logically and faith-based-ly impossible. read your bible your upanisads your rg veda your tao te ching your 'myths from mesopotamia' your writings of the local algonquin chief and his grandmother and her grandmother and her grandmother and her grandmother. ect. ) this week? optimistic. this month, hardly likely. i love my friends i find warmth in their presence bt it is not the same not the same love as that which lacks. 080216 ... unhinged sometimes friends only remind me of what i don't have and i wish that even one of them really truly actually understood what i mean when i say i_love_you delusion affliction everyone's covered with them 080217 ... Lemon_Soda He would understand all too well, and it has always been an unspoken agreement that I not press this. Besides...I've given up on guys. 080217 ... . I've given up on girls actually meaning that when they say it. Like alcoholics and hang overs. "Never again." Yea right. 080217 ... LEMON SODA RESPONDING CHECK 081110 what's it to you? who go blather from