writing lulie It keeps me from going too far, getting too close, causing pain. 020330 ... uow i'm not a writer 040803 ... nomme) i should stop writing 050726 ... crOwl if you stopped writing, i would mope about for days. 050726 ... APRicochetMVP i should be writing my final instead of writing here, but this is much more fun and relaxing 050726 ... iNsEcUrE_GoTh_GiRl writing takes some of the pain away all the bad stuff; the pen traces the wounds the ink blots the blood and the paper soothes the pain. it can't undo the fear it can't replace what's lost the innocence and naivety snatched by other people's carelessness. but it can be a friend can be another you, a paper doppelganger holding you tight so you can cry the shame into your pages and not be afraid any more for even when you feel you have no one left to turn to you can turn to the blank sheets, waiting patiently to hear what you have to say they won't push you won't hurt you will silently comfort you as you spill your emotions onto them and most importantly they don't judge you. an extension of yourself that you can trust with the darkest secrets. and this version of yourself accepts you for who you are; unconditionally and unquestioningly. i like to write, i find it therapeutic. 050803 ... nom "my writing is stupid" 061008 ... nom doesn't help 070322 ... epitome of incomprehensibility There's a certain satisfaction in finishing revising a travel article at 1:20 A.M., but also a certain "Why am I doing this?" Especially after helping a brother with biology homework (complementary course for Liberal Arts DEC, they need a science or math credit), which included reading four pages first just to understand the thing, and being annoyed at oneself for not negotiating the price AFTER revisions instead of before. 140902 ... e_o_i And I don't give the smallest damn about the golf course on Tropical Island I'll Probably Never Visit, but I'd kind of like to see the beach and go on that diving trip into the cavern, described as deep blue and full of sea life. 140902 ... raze the thing i've come to understand is that it's not about trying to alter or reframe the past. it's about reorganizing lived experience so we can make sense of our own lives and our place in the story we're both author of and slave to. the proofreading comes later. 220413 what's it to you? who go blather from