target
amy i was reading about my own karmic past of delusions, dreams, fantasies. ego-fulfillments. this time, i played it out again, but it was a totally horrendous crash, an example of too-much too-soon. like going for your master's when you've just finished algebra.

i created it by not being in enough contact with my emotions and needs. my psyche became volcanic. my psyche actually sought catastrophic conflict.

of course, even if i do still need to dwell on it, i also forgive myself. i didn't know any better, and that in itself is something to marvel.

(no coffee, this time.)
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the insignificant and unspoken maybe i painted it there myself
maybe it was some sick subliminal birthmark

none of the shots are random enough

they all seem to hit
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silentbob katie said the target logo is red because their intention is to grab your attention, from your living room, from the highway, to get you to come in, to buy something, to spend your money on their low prices and quality items, to get you to be a customer.
That is why it is red.
Because red is shocking.
and blue is soothing.
I guess that doesn't work for everything.
red keeps some people away.
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spoons does that go for blather too? 040322
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tender_square what does it metaphorically mean to work inside a bullseye? i want to ask. especially one comprised of a ring of red, a center circle like a knowing pupil?

i’ve never dreamt of working there before.

and when a coworker says she switched shifts just so we’d be together on the floor, i am elated; it’s been so long since last we caught up about our lives.

get this, i tell her, a month ago i gave birth to a secret baby! but i’m also blabbing it to anyone within earshot, customer or no. it isn’t shameful; i’m not embarrassed. i laugh at my sudden circumstances and add, i didn’t even know i was pregnant!

in the dark of night's womb, i wake with the sense that i don’t grasp the gravity of what is gestating within, that i will stand open-mouthed and struck dumb when it’s delivered.
211206
what's it to you?
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blather
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