silently kali i glide down the road twenty-eight minutes each way each day a robot at the wheel head slightly forward eyes staring straight ahead tears forming 070223 ... belly fire your feet dust across the pile; that kind of silence generates an energy that I can sense, even from the other side of sleep 070304 ... insouciant I have written to you here in moments of desperation and panic. Moments when i could not understand the feelings that I had. When emotions felt like belts being tightened around my body, threatening to crush me under their tension. My memories were getting twisted and forgotten. I panicked because I felt like I was losing everything. I said some terrible things to you. I’m sorry Now that I understand who you are, I’m sorry. I spent years trying to keep you quiet when all you wanted to do was protect me from things I couldn’t handle. You are a bright and fiery force, and I love you. I always have, I just couldn’t see you. When I can feel your influence, I feel whole. You hold the pieces of me I tried to discard. I’m so grateful you walked behind me and silently gathered all of my broken pieces because you knew I would want them again someday. I’m still learning. I’m sorry I couldn’t see you. I love you. 230603 what's it to you? who go blather from