sign
splinken saussure. 010506
...
soia My thoughts wrapped up around me, my perception of the world shifting inside to my head, I could no longer sense how close the stop sign was. I felt the tears start to well up in my eyes. But then the sign brought me back and I told myself "you're going to the bank now, pull yourself together". I took a deep breath and washed neutrality through my head like I've learned to do to survive. I don't know why I'm so nostalgic all of a sudden. Maybe the cracks in the wax I covered my heart with are letting him in. In where he doesn't even want to be. I wish I could just say "forget your dissaproval, I'm setting myself free" but it's just not how I feel- there is too much support in my past for self loathing and self depreciation. I struggled all along, fighting the madness of having someone love me while I hated myself. Another self-fulfilling prophecy. What are my choices now? Wait for it to fade. It seems to alternately fade and come back. But I suppose overall it's fading. That's good enough? 010525
...
nom oh no 060809
...
rabenkrahe He! Spammer, Ihre Mutter ist eine schmierige Dirne 060809
...
schwarzvogel spammer, spammer, please come over here and bend over so you can see by the brutal and horrendous reaming i lay upon you just how unneccessary your erection pills are to us here.

and when you witness the happy smiles on the faces of those of us to whom this place belongs at the sight of your web-polluting ass being violated in such unrelenting fashion, you will know we have no need of the anti-depressants either

please crawl away and die quietly before i have to go and find out where you are and start making this sort of thing personal

by the way, spammer, your mother is still a greasy whore
060810
...
wicker man set a spammer on fire for Jesus 060825
...
for fucks sake die already whoever owns this spambot is a load his mother should have swallowed.

whoever owns and runs this spambot was a million times more deserving of a stingray barb through their heart

whoever owns and runs this fucking spambot should die painfully
060905
...
i wann force feed you some yellow snow i wanna ram a traffic sign up a spammer's asshole, and then beat his mother about the head with the bung-stained result

i wanna sign my name in piss across a spammer's beaten and tattered carcass
060906
...
negritos@yahoo.com buy prozac
buy diazepam
060909
...
bsweet@yahoo.com sweet
sweet map
060922
...
dallas Just deleted spam from 7 years ago. The Internet is better now! 130625
...
raze raising a glass of celebratory raisins yay dallas! noble conqueror of spam! 130625
...
raze "be the mentor you wish you had."

so instructed the sign outside of some random building in a plaza.

i'm trying.
210306
...
kerry this morning i sat on my front stoop and smoked a cigarette even though i quit last month and i read my horoscope for the first time in i don’t know how long
i have to be very adrift to turn to astrology but all of a sudden it seems like everyone is talking about the zodiac, the stars
trying to guess my sign
it must be tough to be so watery to have no grip and to be so small in a world that is too big and how does everyone make it through a day?
i’m surrounded by leos

my horoscope says "it’s all coming together" for me (what does that mean?)
i compare with another that encourages me to hibernate
it predicts change and creativity and that’s nothing new--that i'm an ouroboros, devouring myself, over and over
but i wish i were hungrier
210803
...
raze a sign outside of a restaurant:

"find someone who looks at you the way you look at a menu."
210915
...
kerry i love that 210915
...
raze another good one today (a pickup line, even):

"hi, are you a mortgage? because you've got my interest."
211114
...
nr the previous one made me chuckle, because i'm pretty sure i look at most menus with a furrowed brow and look of indecision. checks out. 211114
...
tender_square a bumper sticker on the road today: "what would scooby do?"

(i'll admit, i laughed a little too hard at this one)
211115
...
tender_square on a neighbor's lawn a few streets over:

"i love you. you're probably thinking 'you don't even know me.' but if people can hate for no reason, i can LOVE."

(i want to know this stranger.)
211128
...
raze "or ions all"

methinks a few words went missing there.

a corner store wants me to know they've got "coffee slush" and "milk bread". and if they tell me those items are an illusion created by a lack of adequate white space, i'm going to be pretty steamed about it.

and in this edition of "biblical-sounding fast food signs", burger king proclaims:

"new southwestern king"

don't let the *old* southwestern king hear about that...
211212
...
raze one of my all-time favourites, spotted in toronto twelve years ago and never forgotten:

"dieter's wiener palace"

(yes, i'm twelve years old.)
211215
...
tender_square "when did you know that you wanted to leave," she asked. "and how long was it between the knowing and the actual leaving?"

her friend knew exactly, there was no hesitation in her response: "a year and a half."

"i thought so," she said. "i had gotten the sense that you were trying to leave that relationship for a while. i didn’t know how to talk to you about it then, i didn’t know if we were that close; i’m sorry that i wasn’t there for you." meanwhile, her friend had been there for her first divorce, offering her a place to stay should her husband turn violent, and now she was here again for…whatever this crisis in her second marriage was turning into.

"i didn’t want to talk to anyone about it," her friend clarified. "because i knew what needed to be done, i was just waiting."

"see, i sort of feel like that’s the situation i’m in right now," she said. "i’m being told to wait. my therapist keeps asking, 'for what?' and i think she thinks i’m nuts because i said, 'for the universe to give me a sign.'"

"that’s exactly what i was doing," her friend said assuringly. "and then i got it with the flood."

her friend and her friend’s boyfriend had been living together and dating for several years. he had been having mental health issues for some time; they were having the same conversations over and over, he couldn’t let things go in his life that were bothering him, and he was paranoid.

"a week before the flood happened," her friend said, "we were on vacation camping. the trip was incredible; we were getting along, we spent so much time on the beach, we were making love…"

"so it felt like he was coming back to you," she interjected. "like, things were taking a turn for the better between you?"

her friend nodded. "oh yeah. but then we got home from the trip late in the evening and opened the door to the house and water was EVERYWHERE."

the upstairs bathroom in her friend’s home had a pipe that wasn’t connected properly after she’d bought the house and it leaked for days causing thousands of dollars in damage; her home was inhabitable until insurance contractors were brought in to fix it. her friend had to move into an apartment building for a year while it was remedied.

on the scene, the boyfriend had rushed into the house to turn off the water and electricity.

"he was good in a crisis," her friend recalled, "but he was running around chaotically. the ceiling was bulging and i was afraid the house wasn’t structurally safe for him to be in there."

in all his running around, the boyfriend dropped his wallet in the standing water, and lost all his medications. then he started drinking—heavily—while her friend was on the phone with the insurance company making a claim. they went to his parentshouse to stay the night but he left his girlfriend there alone, wandering the streets after an innocuous exchange with his father.

"i had no idea where he’d gone to," her friend recounted. "and i remembered thinking, 'i am alone with things; it will always be this way.'" her friend didn’t find out until the following day that her boyfriend had walked to the hospital and checked himself into the psych ward. "i had to decide whether his stuff that was salvageable should be kept with mine in a storage space, and it was at that moment that i had my way out."

"this is reminding me of something my therapist said in my last session," she remarked. "she wondered if i had a tendency—whether conscious or unconscious—to block out information that i don’t wish to know. she said that i was very self-aware and that once i let this information in, i act on it, but she was curious about why this could be a pattern."

"oh, i totally do that too," her friend said. "it’s like, i knew i had to break up with him, i knew it wasn’t going to work between us, but i had to put that on a shelf and not touch it."

"do you think that could have something to do with how idealistic we both are?" she asked. her and her friend were the same personality and astrological type.

"i don’t know," her friend began. "for me, i think it’s more that i can only let in a certain amount of that knowledge in, in order to cope."

maybe this is what she’d been doing all this time, allowing in what she needed to know at the moment she needed to know it and not before.
211220
...
tender_square there's some ridiculous health-centered stores sprouting up in ann arbor these days. think along the lines of iv hydration therapy (because drinking is for suckers!). there's a sign i spotted for "restore" and their tagline is "hyper wellness." uh, what now? 211229
...
tender_square "the whole world is short-staffed. please be kind to those who showed up." 211230
...
tender_square on a busy street corner, handwritten on a yard sign with an asterisk as the dot above the first "i": "american bully puppies for sale." 220101
...
tender_square at a lighting store: “husbands choosing lighting must have note from wife.” (what is it with the casual reverse sexism these days?) 220115
...
tender_square written on a window near campus in lilac lowercase letters: “lonely 220122
...
tender_square painted on a small canvas, on a background mix of blue sky and cotton clouds, in big black letters: “be happy.” it was hanging from the hooks of a residential mailbox, as a message to passerby on the sidewalk. 220209
...
tender_square in a graduate student’s office, written on a white board:

and we know that god causes everything to work together for the good of those who love god and are called according to his purpose for them. romans 8:28”
220215
...
tender_square in another graduate student’s office written on a white board in black marker: “why bother making lists when i’ll just have to change them.” 220220
...
tender_square on a sheet of paper that took up half of a thick concrete column on campus:

"afraid of WWIII? STOP RUSSIA NOW."
220315
...
tender_square in front of a frat house, two spray-painted plywood boards reading "if you honk, we drink" while three frat guys sat in shorts behind it at 9:20 am.

(i honked a quick burst of beeps in succession, wanted to roll down the window and yell, "drink up, boys." they pulled milk jugs filled with neon booze to their lips and pulled, wincing. their poor livers.)
220317
...
tender_square seen on a business front in essex:

wolf hooker, lawyer”

(i swear it’s true; raze’s latest on captcha made me remember my wolf-lawyer run-in over the weekend.)
220321
...
tender_square written on a conference room white board in teacher-like printing:

"i will be present in every moment.
every day i am learning to be a better me."
220331
...
tender_square missing letters to spell carleton court became "carl on curt apartments." 220410
...
past "r.m.o.c. sewage" standing in the overgrowth alongside the unofficial pathway, barely faded despite its at least twenty years marking what's beneath. i enjoy signs of defunct jurisdictions. one can only hope the current municipality is tracking all these out of the way bits of inherited infrastructure. 220410
...
tender_square at a presbyterian church: “the extra mile is never crowded.”

encouraging remarks on two coroplast lawn displays in the neighborhood: “you are worthy of loveand “don’t give up.”
220423
...
tender_square on a mortarboard cap during commencement:

"the best view comes after the highest climb."
220429
...
past "construct
ion
begins/début
le may 4 mai"
220430
...
tender_square from a large window decal on campus in honour of national poetry month:

“‘the poet is a liar who always speaks the truth.’ —jean cocteau”
220501
...
tender_square on a poster in an amtrak station: "train yourself to recycle." 220503
...
raze outside a sandwich shop:

"what's in *your* bun?"
220509
...
raze a very_punny advertisement for a cannabis store:

"weed love to meet you."
220510
...
raze "caution due to sidewalk closed"

(methinks the grammar went a little wonky there)
220512
...
tender_square on a flyer in austin on airport road:

"join a cult: spend money, create expectations."

in rural texas, a hand-painted sign in rainbow lettering:

"unborn lives matter: they have a right to live."
220512
...
tender_square "dirt world: we deliver." 220515
...
tender_square on a church marquee sign in orleans parish:

god wants full custody not just weekend visits.”
220517
...
tender_square found in a window on campus:

spring is not real.”
220523
...
tender_square outside a yoga studio written on a chalk board:

"your vision will become clear only when you are willing to look inside your own heart. -carl jung"
220524
...
raze "local strawberries"

"local asparagus"

(and my brain asked, "what about the out-of-towners?")
220607
...
past detritus from election_season, an unsanctioned sign abandoned in a boulevard:

"stop doug ford!
vote for sam!"

(doug ford was not stopped, though the incumbent from ford's party sam was running against lost...to someone else.)
220607
...
raze "slow down. please." 220609
...
tender_square "businesses open during construction" 220609
...
raze outside of gilligan's:

"breakfast breakfast
breakfast breakfast
breakfast breakfast
breakfast breakfast"

(don't hold me to this, but i think they might serve breakfast there)
220618
...
tender_square in stencil letters spray-painted in white on a hidden nook of concrete:

"the function of freedom is to free someone else."

(which i've since learned is a quote from toni morrison)
220618
...
raze "it's pothole season" 220619
...
raze "looking for hope?" 220620
...
raze "PICKLING
CUCUMER"

(poor missing b)
220624
...
tender_square at ford city public school:

whatever we believe about ourselves and our ability comes true for us
220627
...
raze "lie us on facebook"

(poor missing k. although, if you snuck a "to" between the first two words...)
220628
...
tender_square "life isn't perfect but your outfit can be." 220628
...
past sticking out of a pile of garbage bags:

"life is a journey not a destination."
220629
...
tender_square written on post-it and stuck to the door of a community refrigerator:

N̳O̳ LIVE ANIMALS!!

AS OF 6/22
THANK YOU.”
220706
...
past "estate sale this weekend! VERY RETRO!!!" 220709
...
raze a black smiley_face on a yellow background, with three_words above it:

"official happy place"
220716
...
raze "all are accepted"

(it was about cars, but i like to think the sentiment went a little deeper than that)
220717
...
raze "moose nut closing" 220718
...
past (s atheism is showing) this one was depressing in how limiting it is: "prayer is not the least you can do for a fellow human being, it is the most you can do." 220718
...
raze "NO! DUMPING" 220720
...
past "make pour choices" (on a sign for a pub) 220720
...
tender_square "it's you, there's nobody else." 220721
...
raze "we *all* belong here" 220723
...
tender_square a political booth at the ann arbor art fair with the words "democracy without elections." (uh, isn't that an oxymoron?) 220724
...
tender_square found on a pale blue piece of paper in neat penciled cursive and stuck to a bathroom mirror in my friend’s house, a message both deliciously private and full of wisdom:

enjoy what you have and
where you are, what you’re
doing and who you’re with,
even while working toward
something else.
appreciate the moment.”
220731
...
tender_square spotted in a window written with chalk pen off william:

"brett kavanaugh should have been aborted."

(it was so inappropriate i laughed.)
220802
...
raze "concrete cutting and coring"

(some nice alliteration happening there)
220802
...
raze "silliness and accounting"

(i know where i want to go to get my taxes done from now on)
220803
...
raze "hungarian stuffing pepper" 220804
...
tender_square on an ice-cream shaped white board at cooleez parlor:

please be nice to our staff as this could one day be one of your children.”

(i mean, i get the concept of the message but that’s theoretically impossible.)
220806
...
past "emergency department
OPEN!"

(a depressing sign of the time for when a government let's healthcare collapse.)
220806
...
raze "pessimists be warned" 220807
...
past "this is a field of CORN." 220807
...
raze "earth to table" 220808
...
raze (which was about organic food. but all i could think of was a dining room table saying to their distracted childa coffee table, no doubt — "earth to table ... earth to table ... are you listening to me right_now?") 220808
...
tender_square on a confiscated white poster board with the silhouette of a bridge in the background:

“hooky for mayor of detroit.”
220816
...
raze "where will you be in the next life?" 220901
...
tender_square above a hand-drawn cookie monster:

“don’t be sad that cookie over; be happy that cookie happened.”
220901
...
raze "gas prices! ouch!" 220903
...
kerry "chickens don't have teeth. don't be a chicken. make an appointment with delaware dental." 220903
...
raze "make it intact." 220904
...
epitome of incomprehensibility On a lawn. I leaned in closer, thinking at first it was about a missing dog, but nope, it was a parody "Wanted" poster.

Something about the "Lab Gang," then "Crime: Stealing the hearts of Americans and the occasional table scrap"
220904
...
raze "rise above the ordinary." 220910
...
raze "smile cookie." 220915
...
tender_square "if god is your co-pilot, switch seats." 220915
...
past "how to seduce a woman with just one word: tacos." 220915
...
tender_square on a streetlight sticker:

every day is a gift.”
220916
...
tender_square in vinyl letters on a lighted outdoor nursery sign:

just because i don’t respond doesn’t mean i didn’t hear you.”
220919
...
raze "to treat anxiety, try patience, love, and understanding." 220920
...
raze "don't call it a comeback. we've been here for years." 220922
...
tender_square in an art installation, two eye-catching post-its:

"tengo la amor de mi vida. la amo" with the profile of a shaded butterfly.

and

"if your dreams don't scare you, they're too small."
220922
...
raze "building better agents." 220925
...
raze "see cremation differently." 220926
...
raze "feed your brain; come on in and grab a bite to read." 220930
...
raze "weights.
machines.
people lifting things.
(it's a gym.)"
221003
...
tender_square at a mcdonalds:

"ask about our wedding snack catering."
221003
...
tender_square written on cardboard and held by a homeless man at the corner of washtenaw and huron:

too ugly to prostitute. too honest to steal. please give what you can.”
221005
...
raze "we put these lights out for good." 221007
...
raze outside a different cannabis store:

"let's be blunt."
221010
...
tender_square in a temporary art installation on campus, written in caps on the t-shirt of a portrait of a black woman:

"do not let this school break you down."
221010
...
raze "fall for our jewelry as we head into autumn." 221014
...
tender_square written in capital red text on the gallery's marble floor:

"you are here."
221018
...
tender_square written on a seventh adventist church marquee:

send god some knee mail.”
221019
...
tender_square good_advice from a sticker on a lightpost:

do not feed the fears.”
221030
...
tender_square along the detroit river airspace waving from the tail of a plane, the wordsvote anti-abortion” with the photo of an embryo. 221103
...
tender_square in vomit-coloured vinyl on the tailgate of a truck speeding down tecumseh road:

"THOT PATROL"
221210
...
tender_square written above kristin's fireplace on a letter board:

"never light yourself on fire to keep someone else warm."
221223
...
raze "rent soft water"

(which begs the question: if you don't own your water, what happens if you can't pay the bill and the powers that be decide to repossess all you've consumed?)
230107
...
tender_square on a banner outside a tecumseh road pharmacy:

"accepting addict patients with dr. pepper"
230113
...
tender_square at a chiropractic office that seeks a neighbourhood attitude adjustment:

"st p st l ng
r l tt rs"
230120
...
raze "young pork available" 230124
...
raze (aka "a personal ad i'd like to read") 230124
...
tender_square paraphrased and seen at the thirft store, on sale in the knick knacks:

"a great calling requires applying yourself greatly to it."
230203
...
tender_square seen at an auto detailer on jackson road:

"if your wife is hot get her tinted windows"
230204
...
tender_square patched on the pillar of a tecumseh road streetlamp:

"a raw vegan diet cures cancer."
230207
...
raze "books: the original handheld device." 230216
...
raze "bad breath? we can help." 230223
...
tender_square on the door of a west-end apartment building:

"it has come to our attention that tenants are throwing poop bags from their balconies. THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE."
230310
...
tender_square on the rear window of a minivan in pink disney-ified cursive:

"powered by bitchdust."
230315
...
tender_square seen on the back of a rumbling minivan with a string of canadian flags flapping from its antenna:

"jeff dunham, go to ottawa and pick up your 'puppet.' this isn't funny anymore."
230316
...
raze "TATTO UPPLIES"

(seeing that almost made me want to get a tatto. almost. but i'm not sure they could upply me with what i really need.)
230322
...
tender_square seen on a buffet in my neighbour's dining room:

"drink coffee
put on some
gangster rap
& handle it"
230404
...
tender_square seen on a local billboard advertising for a strip club named for slender and muscular cats:

"new girls! new effort!"
230407
...
raze "happy_easter flowers" 230408
...
raze "giant hot tub sale"

(i choose to believe this means they're selling hot tubs for absurdly tall people. i won't let you take that dream away from me.)
230413
...
raze "you seek me with all your heart." 230415
...
raze outside walkerville dental:

"accepting new smiles"
230420
...
tender_square i saw a subversive take on the latest outdoor decor-de-jour. instead of a painted piece of plywood propped against a house with the word "home" spelled vertically, someone in the county had one that read "go away." 230506
...
raze someone too lazy to write anything on one of those fill_in_the_blanks danger signs slapped a sticker over the empty space, so it said:

"danger due to danger"

and that's good to know.
230517
...
tender_square the floor store stealing leopards lounge's new motto, changing it to "new floors! new effort!" 230529
...
raze "keep off grass"

(this in an area of the park where half of what *used* to be grass was annihilated by the city's incompetence while they were destroying the decades-old playground and replacing it with the most garish, shoddy-looking shit i've ever seen in my life.)
230606
...
raze "look up! look out! danger!" 230618
...
tender_square "trump for president

of cell block h"
230618
...
tender_square from an overzealous church:

"going on vacation?
take jesus with you!"
230701
...
raze TOP SHELF CANABIS

(with the missing n magically restored on the smaller second sign beneath it. i'm guessing the person who fabricated that thing got some complimentary pot to enjoy while they were working on it.)
230702
...
tender_square on a lawn sign:

"hold hope"
230702
...
tender_square in a progressive and child-free neighbourhood:

"drive like your pets live here."
230703
...
raze "stop the bug before the bite." 230705
...
tender_square "i can tell if someone's judgmental just by looking at them." 230710
...
tender_square "save a child
shoot a pedophile"
230717
...
tender_square on a deserted beach suffering from coastal erosion:

"NO LIFEGUARDS
parents
children are your
responsibility"
230730
...
tender_square from some kind of construction entity:

"what happens when you eat aluminum?

you sheet metal."
230916
...
tender_square a off-road advertisement by way of lawn sign:

"sprinkler blowouts"

(sounds like water jets being sleekified in salon)
231001
...
raze here's one that's a bald-faced lie:

"traffic-calmed neighbourhood."
231106
...
raze "glowing gift await."

(somethings tells me an "s" got lost in the shuffle.)
231127
...
raze "be one of the first to donate plasma in windsor." 231215
...
raze "baby_it's_cold_outside." 240104
...
raze "you've seen our vans. you should see our work." 240205
...
raze "i better not eat that..." 240303
what's it to you?
who go
blather
from