pressure
unhinged the atms built in around this situation are staggering. i finally get recognition but now the expectation that goes along with it is almost enough to make me crack. am i going to excel or am i going to buckle? 010416
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cocoon on the one hand, i need it. its what finally gets me off my ass and doing what needs to be done.

on the other hand, it screws me over. i stop thinking, i make stupid mistakes, and i hate it.

i hate it i hate it i hate it.

and its so unnecessary.

fuck you for adding to it, for no reason other than you think i dont know what im doing. ugh.
110306
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n o m a lot of pressure to produce something wonderful 110520
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n o m m o n all the time i am failing 120416
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n o m m o n i am just a major royal fuckup
and i am hating this song right now
i am just tired of fighting
i hate my voice
120518
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n o m i can't afford to pay for a funeral 120625
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n o m it is killing 120723
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Pilgrim Funerals are for the living, if they need to grieve or attone for some past unkindness let them pay for it! Because I'm outta here with more important things to tend to than grief and anger. Meet me in the next world: All is forgiven. 120723
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gja Peace. Brother. 120724
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