from now on i have had a sore neck
since about october 10th, '02

a constant pain, it cracks and crunches

when i told the doctor
he said there's nothing he can do
from now on i can remember when it didn't hurt.

it never used to hurt, not like this
from now on i remember when i went to hug my oldest_sister at the airport, she asked me what was wrong, i said i didn't know, i hadn't noticed the pain before that moment

i can't remember when it started, i just know i went to hug her and that's when i said ouch

i figured it would improve

now two years later it is only worse
and i just wish i could figure it out
n o m e e wow i'd almost forgotten about this.

my neck did improve, but then this year i woke up with a seeming spasm when camping in late july and it never quite went away. . my doctor got xrays done, and then i went to a musculoskeletal pain/rehab specialist the other day....

he poked me a bunch with his fingers while holding/rotating my neck/shoulder,,asking me how much less it hurt compared to the first pokes/starting positions.

he concluded that i have very unusual pain response, that pain increases in positions which should release/relieve pain in most people, he said however that he has seen this in some fibromyalgia patients. he also said that manipulation/therapy would maybe just be futile, that i have had chroinc pain for so long that it is deep/things are a little messed up inside me. and to just keeping using cesamet/cannabis/ and rest!
n o m e e other day = yesterday 101119
unhinged (i wish the country i live in would recognize cannabis as a valid medication for my chronic neck is also in constant pain for a different reason, so i feel for you dear. chronic pain sucks. hard.)

i need kisses and nibbles
right where my neck meets my shoulder
it is my favorite place
to receive affection


it would be nice to have a living breathing
in my bed now too
now that the cold is starting to take hold
the down blankets work better
with another human heater undearneath
to keep it going

(i want your breath on my neck)
what's it to you?
who go