uow my mind is always elsewhere
i pay not enough attention
i need to stop and listen
nom they were talking so loud, too loud
my name grabbed me by the ear
i couldn't help but hear
nom i should've put on my headphones

but i didn't want to

i just wanted quietness
nom it makes me want to move 060120
nom my mom is blasting music upstairs
right now it's a dolly parton song
she knows i used to love to sing
just listening i am so terrified that i will always be just listening, never my turn to speak. that i am letting all the opportunities pass me by. or maybe even that there are no opportunities.

i want it so much. i can see it so clearly. it's just there, right there. too scared to reach out.
Lovers Lament Listening to Johnny West. ;)

Your soul is in your voice. And your soul is beautiful.
no reason i'm reading an advance copy of a book written by the author of my favourite book. a line from the book struck me hard:

"she was both generous and receptive (this was another thing about her; she listened, her attention was dazzling i never had the feeling that other people listened to me half as closely; i felt like a different person in her company, a better one, could say things to her i couldn't say to anyone else, certainly not [other girl], who had a... way of deflating serious comments by making a joke, or switching to another topic..."

this first person is what i need and am often missing. the second person is you.

if one can't have the first person, should they settle for the second, at least in the meantime? for the need for support that sometimes feels like emptiness?.
e_o_i I've been both people. I should say all three: also the one looking for someone who would listen. 131005
nr jazz drums
book promotion
listening to music and seeing shows

a lot of my favourite things involve active listening.
nr or active reading, i guess. active absorbing. 151207
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