energy stoic energy. and thoughts and actions and thoughts energy. and actions and thoughts and actions and power and energy and thoughts and actions and power and results and energy and power and actions . 040215 ... nom my parents worked for a vacuum company (Electrolux) they called it Electrosux "sucks the life right outta ya" they sold more than anyone 040215 ... mon uow burn brightly 050409 ... nom) store, conserve 051007 ... nr i was going to talk a lot about how frustrating and wasteful and soul-crushing it is to expend so much energy for so long into something that didn't deserve it, but then i decided this was all the energy i would expend on it. 160620 ... unhinged levels are always low but then i started taking a magnesium supplement. my energy is higher and my depression is lower. from a mineral. fuck paxil 160622 ... nr hes fun for a beer or two but then he zaps mine 80% of the conversation is too much to spend talking about yourself 171103 ... tender_square “if you don’t feel like talking, that’s alright. but if you do, i’m chatty too,” she said. she asked me how the pressure was as she held hot stones to my skin. “you can give more,” i told her. i was afraid that if i spoke further, everything i was holding would leak out as she prodded my pressure points, that i wouldn’t be able to stop. “my mom used to be a hairdresser,” i began. “and she said something that i’d never considered before, which is that touching people can be really exhausting.” “it’s real,” she said. “you do take on people’s energies.” i wanted to ask her what she was picking up from me, i wanted to know if my body was a tension map revealing the borders of stress. “i often take a shower when i’m done,” she said. “use water to wash away whatever i’ve absorbed.” in the darkness of her studio, i heard the basalt stones being ladled from their hot bath, their flat faces rubbing against my open palms, my calloused feet. 220922 ... tender_square we were fighting for long to understand one another, and trying so hard to make this work, she said. and now that we’ve decided to call it quits, the energy has shifted. like, it was all misdirected before, it wasn’t able to move, it was jammed, and now the tension has eased. we’ve both talked about being relieved, and i think that’s what this is; the energy is flowing as it’s supposed to. 221206 what's it to you? who go blather from