empty
j_blue from darkness, blather

butterfly never to fly

only to be red
010125
...
daxle sad and empty red 010810
...
dB May god stand between you and harm in all the empty places that you must walk. 010810
...
arinna eyes 010810
...
psychobabe why do i feel so empty
a hole inside
not willing to fill
god there is no explaination
and i wonder what it is
walking day by day
nothing to nothing
feeling empty inside
stuck in this "routine"
fuck it all
its all bullshit
011213
...
little wonder red blather seems more empty than it used to be...
where has everyone gone?
020129
...
birdmad it happens every now and then


nothing to fear
020129
...
bespeckled Do you share the same feeling
of emptiness I have inside,
following every erotic encounter we have
[during which, I probably, at some point, kept my eyes open and stared out the window as you kissed my neck,
wondering how I got myself into this]?

Do my kisses feel as empty as yours do?

I'm left with less than I started with, almost each and every time.

I wonder about these things.
021006
...
pilgrim Great Expanse Abides
Between Every Atom
Of My Form
Electrons Ripple
In Their Endless Orbits
Striving to Be Free
Of The Nucleons Grasp
While Deep Within
Even The Quarks Writhe
To Escape

All Is Void
And without True Substance

Elbow Room For The Soul
021006
...
jinx My stomach is screaming at me. 021205
...
the swinger of birches i just i ate lunch with you. is the ulcer hurting. 021205
...
jinx It isn't so much that my stomach is empty as it is me being empty.

Winter is here, and it's hard for me to be truly happy when there's so much cold and 'blah.'

I'm empty, and any time I'm not happy-my stomach burns.

I want a new stomach-one that doesn't react so much to emotions.
021205
...
DammitJanet tossing and turning all night
needing to write it all down
but there's no lights to turn on
so i lose it all within the dreams
and i wake up empty
030109
...
two this is the word I use to describe how i feel thinking lately

when i fell asleep feeling like i was going to collapse into myself
when i felt like there was nothing left inside to break
when i felt like i was choking on my own thoughts, i kept hearing this line in the back of my mind:

"I love you more than I can say
why won't you just believe?"
030722
...
Fido we toodled nicely twice before
and your vices 'round my neck I wore -
but after toodling just once more
I see you're plain, yes, soup d'jour
050413
...
now_now sometimes i feel vacant
distant despondent
a sort of echo
rattles around my ribcage
I am of my life
but not in it
080801
...
silent storm There is a hole in me where you used to be. 080828
...
nr or just... not full.

first one without her. first one without writing our letters and putting them in the fire. first one on zoom. first one with a new family schedule. first one watching "home alone" home alone.
211224
what's it to you?
who go
blather
from