cry endless desire she was never ok with crying until she understood a numb existance. then the tears where her relief. sinking in the carpet did you hear her cry? she cried in a whisper. im sure you didn't hear her. up into the late hours, tossing and turning. thinking of consequences and things to come. her mind throws itself against walls dances and is never free. these self destructive bars never free anyone. they must forfill their purpose. they must break the girl. she is broken. when sleep finds her it never does for long. and when her eyes open she feels her wet cheeks and tear-soaked pillow. clawing at her skin in the night. finding ways to self soothe. things will be better in a little while. i promise. 031204 ... bijou "learned how to cry in total silence" 031205 ... kali occasionally it just bursts forth a flash flood a spring shower in fast forward and just as quickly it ends what am i hiding from myself that makes me erupt so violently? what am i holding back under such intense pressure? at the edge of explosion a pimple of hot water boiling under the thin crust of the earth's surface a bout of violent trembling a plume of tears, and silence i drill a hole to relieve the pressure slowly but it is a spring without end it pours forth for days and days flooding the countryside with no sign of stopping until i plug it up again for fear of drowning the world i suppose i just let it collect inside until it collapses under its own gravity tearing itself out of existence toothbrush down my throat vomit the black hole 031205 ... silentbob she told me she wants to make me cry 040213 ... DammitJanet crying in the shower washing my pain away it wasn't working so i grabbed a sponge and scrubbed the tub while i conditioned my hair that did the trick 040213 ... eat id The tears roll down and seep into my skin. I begin a new day with a hard face, only to have the satisfaction of them never having seen me cry. That I save for my pillow. 060323 ... 8-) lucky pillow, eh? 060324 ... cocoon I am not going to cry about this again. I hardly ever used to cry. I suppose my life was simple. Nothing big ever really affected me. [Movies on the other hand are something completely different.] And yet, since the beginning of the [school] year, I've found myself crying more than I can remember. Its really weird. Its so not me. To get upset about this. Im hard and tough and nothing ever gets to me. But lately I find tears in my eyes for the strangest [and smallest] things. Hormones? Growing up? Changing? Stress? Who knows. But I know I dont want to cry about THIS anymore. 070401 ... epitome of incomprehensibility Question: When is an appropriate time to cry? a) You accidentally book two tutoring lessons for the same time and this is embarrassing b) You go to a creative writing workshop on humour and you can't write a funny anecdote in half an hour because you've had too much caffeine and can't concentrate c) You can't complete all the tasks at work in the time your supervisor allots and neither of your bosses take the hint that SINCE WHEN DO PEOPLE DOING RECEPTIONIST-TYPE WORK HAVE MICROMANAGED TIMED TASKS, GODDAMNIT but it's also stressing the nicer supervisor out and you don't mean to stress her out, and whether you blame your perfectionism or ADHD or laziness or desire to personalize emails, you can't get better at stuff just like that d) A shooter in Quebec City kills 6 people at a mosque (yes, a racist white guy targeting Muslims is a terrorist attack, Fox News - not that you understand the concept; thanks for "accidentally" tweeting that the shooter was Moroccan) The answer is every time except d) because you're selfish. By "you" I mean me. But I would live a life of worse disorganization and stress in exchange for people not killing people ever again. I know what is objectively more important. I just cry easily. 170202 ... nr i've never been much of a crier, but lately silly little things have made me feel like shedding a few tears. like today, when i was disappointed a free mani-pedi appointment i had got cancelled. i don't know if it's side effects of not having much to look forward to in this world lately, or grief, or depression, or meds, or meds not working well enough, or any or all of the above. i also don't really know if it's a healthy thing or not to be feeling this way. i still don't usually actually cry though. 210916 ... nr i'm much more likely to cry when i think there's even the possibility i've hurt others than when i've been hurt myself 211202 ... tender_square because while practicality has it's place in life, it isn't everything. 211202 ... tender_square because you already miss what you have yet to be. 211227 ... kerry i didn’t realize i was such a crier until i began blathing again and noticed that in nearly every blathe someone is or was or will soon be crying. usually me. i cry when i’m overwhelmed, usually out of anger but sometimes gratitude. 211227 ... tender_square because his love never stops finding new ways to move you. 220209 ... tender_square because he tried to track down a CD recording you had lost sixteen some-odd years ago, wanted to be the person who reunited you with part of yourself you believed was obsolete. 220511 ... nr i don't do this much, but when i do, it tends to come at unexpected and sometimes inconvenient times. the time at the bar patio after you'd said you felt pushed away by what i'd thought was an innocent expression of myself, followed by an hour of basically hanging out in silence when you basically were trying to get over something i didn't even say or mean, wasn't convenient. 220626 ... nr i got teary today at the pride parade when a group came by with signs saying things like "we love our trans kids!" and "i love my son. period." i'm not sure what organization they were with, but everyone should have parents like this. 220626 ... tender_square because things with him are never going to change. 220811 ... tender_square because two bunnies sharing a sweet kiss contains all the love you’ll ever need. 220916 ... tender_square we limbo beneath the white mesh "stop" banner that hung across her doorway and turned the handle. she was curled up in her easy chair, listing to the left, her shock of long white hair elegantly combed into a beautiful ballerina's bun. we didn't want to disturb her. she woke wordlessly and slightly raised her head. was she looking at us or beyond? was she seeing auras or blurred bodies? frowning, she clenched her eyes shut and wept. we rushed and reached for her in consolation but she couldn't communicate what caused the reaction. 230109 what's it to you? who go blather from