choice Cicero When walking one night at the Mission Inn I passed the set of NBC's Kingpin. I could've investigated the business first hand - tried something - anything. But I didn't. I passed up that chance. I won't again. 021230 ... tilt an odd one, this. is it possible to have one choice? choice is singular. one choice. but it implies 'of many'. in fact, without 'of many', it is not a choice. it is one that needs more. i might rename myself choice. 050129 ... crOwl meanwhile, gavin thought about the way he had teasingly grabbed liiy's ass and how she reacted with a girlish smile and poutish punch. it will be so long until i have that luscious pussy, he impishly thought. he banged the steering wheel with toyish severity and coltrane in the passenger seat next to him turned around twice and sat back down. he turned up the ipod and hoarsely sang along at the top of his lungs. he was sad to be sure. he was already missing lilly. the fleeting image of her fading away behind the sliding glass of the airport lobby desperately waving goodbye was already permanently engraved on his brain, much like a photocopy one inticately cuts out and glues in a personal journal for impromptu viewing. leaps and bounds of positive healing had evolved within her in the past few months and he felt proud to be an integral part of it. his handcrafted and drawn morning notes in a journal he had constructed himself for her and left on the kitchen table when he went to work were vital and something she needed and looked forward to just to survive. sex with her was awesome and frequent, better than he ever thought possible, but moreso, she was becoming his best friend. the one person he was finally able to come to with all he thought was important. what he learned, he told her and what she had experienced was what she expressed endlessly to him. he couldn't imagine how he was going to live without her and decided to take each day and commit it to her, like a pledge. he would even name the days, titling them individually, in accordance to the severity of his longing for her, coupled with the specific events that would later become the story of his desperate longing to be reunited with her. however, a unexpected event occured as he pulled into the concrete driveway of their quaint, little home that would place a severe challenge and temptation on this particular promise of fidelity. plainly, it was what was waiting for him in the mailbox, totally out of the blue. a puma shoebox wrapped in a grocery store shopping bag deftly cut to wrap it. simply, a gesture from his doting mother concerning something she was planning to throw away anyway, thinking he might want to save it...a box she found on the shelf of his bedroom closet amongst collections of christmas lights and glass candle holders never used. he opened it and found treasure. strewn together with seashells and souvenirs from gettysburg were handwritten letters from a highschool girlfriend named jamie that he had loved when he was seventeen. somehow he felt dirty when he started reading them. he wanted to dig his cellfone out of his pocket and call lilly, yet he couldn't help but slip a letter at the bottom of the pile out of its delicate envelope...and read. 071116 ... sorry about that ...please forward to i_dreamt_that_i_dreamt_09 071116 what's it to you? who go blather from