burst
soia seeing red
can't explain this feeling
keep having visions of slamming my arm down on the edge of this desk so hard that it would just cut in half, letting all my blood flow out
then would it be like my dreams?
he comes prepared with a bad of white powder, I stick my arm in, the stump heals
I could run I could run but it's too late
I'd never sleep
I'm supposed to study
but this is one one those weeks where I just get beaten down incessantly
miss one step, next thing you know you're tumbling down a flight of stairs, accelerating, bound for a smash
picking up the pieces over and over and over and over
you'd think after everything I wouldn't want to cause this for myself
but maybe it's all I know how to do anymore
010226
...
tender_square over lunch i asked her how the party went and she said it was fine. she only got one photo of the group and it was a blurry afterthought. which is a bit strange considering three of the women who attended post every second of their lives on social media; i guess this holiday party didn't make the cut on what they'd want others to witness. at one point, she said, the women asked how things were going with my dad and his condition, and she said she started to talk but burst into tears. she hadn't even had a full glass of wine at that point. she looked out at their stunned faces and added, "i just can't talk about it." 221215
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blather
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