broken
quotree "The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places. But those it cannot break it kills. It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially. If you are none of these things you can be sure that it will kill you, but there will be no special hurry." --um... no source listed. 020707
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silentbob loves you face in hands
smothered in tears
like the affection i wished i could smother you with
why couldn't i have you?
020707
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the swinger of birches i broke the coffee pot at work and didn't tell anyone 021022
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your love promises 021022
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bespeckled Scattered on the floor,
not bothering to move.

What's the point when you're gone?
Where does my hope lie now?

It's been buried.
It's been burned.
It's been obliviated.
021215
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lotuseater isnt it obvious?

the shards are so sharp
030424
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tilt my body is broken.
my spine sears with the pain of an awkward position.
my shoulders crack as i move
my wrists ache with the abuse that only the keyboard can deliver
my fingers shake with the arthitis that will undoubtedly manifest itself in years to come
my neck and face peel with recurrent eczema
my eyes defocus and blur, and writing is hard to read.
i have a wart on my big toe.
my lungs crackle as i inhale. i will give up soon
my teeth are falling out; i can only chew on one side, and there's a hole developing on that side.
*sigh*
i am broken. never mind.
051112
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IGG i've felt for so long that i am broken
it surprised me
beyond words
when someone asked me why i thought that

i thought,
isn't it obvious?
don't you have eyes?
but no one else's eyes see you the way you see yourself, and you cannot control how they perceive you.
what they think about you.
but i couldn't explain to him
why i am broken
i tried
but i could see my words
folding and
breaking
disintegrating into tiny pieces on the floor.
and i was left looking dumbly at him.
while he stared
and waited for a satisfactory answer.
i closed my eyes.
opened them
and smiled.

'it doesn't matter', i said, cringing inwardly at my inability to express this feeling, this....this whatever it is, in words.
'i can't explain it.'

he nodded, his mind already on next Tuesday's plans.
051113
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AfPRicochetMVP wake up at 7:30. crawl out of her bed and get a shower. let people inside to write throw down. make at least 5 trips back to my room for things i forgot. play at top of the hill, do 2 abbey roads, play for shrunken head, play for waffle shop, play in front of post office. eat free quizzno's lunch. go back to room again for weather report. run to make trumpet meeting. deliver weather report. circle it up. play paint it black, play vamp, play cheer 3, play chords, play victory all on the steps of dey hall (pronounced "die" hall). get into parade formation. play long tones, play chords, play the blue and white, play pregame opening sequence, play aye zigga zoomba, play sweet caroline, play victory again. do throw down which progresses into cadence like always. march to the stadium. wait in holding area drinking hose water. march pregame. play for the rich people in the chancellor's box. stand, play in stands, and be a good supportive fan for the first half. march halftime. stand, play in stands, and be a good supportive fan for the second half and overtime. play carolina in my mind, play hark the sound. walk to the dean dome. stand and play before the basketball game. enjoy a free drink and chick-fil-a sandwhich. stand, play, and be a good supportive fan for 2 halves of basketball. play hark the sound. sit down and listen to scoring totals. put my uniform jacket back on. walk all the way up campus back to my room.

10 hours of band later, my lips feel like they're hanging down to my waist, my feet are on fire from standing almost all day, and my knees feel like they have shattered into dust. i'm mentally and physically exhausted. i truly feel broken.





thank god for long hot showers and a girlfriend who suprises you by buysing you sesame chicken with egg rolls and has it waiting on you when you get out of previously mentioned shower.
051113
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misstree "unfit for human consumption"
like a pill full of poison
waiting to open
in the belly of the unwitting.
051122
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native persimmon Oh and so he will boil espresso (his new hobby now, he has told me) in that salvation army carafe. And though it's been months, when we sit (me sunken into his duvet) he's going to hover on the bridge of my nose and just the inner corners of my eyes wanting to hear and not see that I'm still broken, too.

And I will take my brew as a shot (smirk for its being acrid), and this skin will pulse with nettle-pricks wishing it were still so. What, now, we drift. He: still fragmented, hurting, vivid. I: Melted into a dull whole, bland, languid.

I want to be shreds and shavings and shrapnel again. No greater terror than sensing no pain.
051123
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lulie Broken ribs heal. All scars will be hidden again. 081227
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past four months isn't enough time for a broken arm to heal, if you want to bowl. 131206
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past tears and heartbreak abound. i'm dry and whole, but see it crashing around. some people are terrible, despite themselves. others are terrible because they know no better. the latter are more destructive when they don't care to know better, to be better. their selfishness breaks homes, families, and, ultimately, bodies. what can someone half outside do to the staunch the (metaphorical) bleeding? especially when the one who takes the cuts is embedded in the heart i only skim the surface of. 150523
what's it to you?
who go
blather
from