andy guitar_freak Last year on 4-20 I was confined to my room the year went by so fast, so soon It's 4-20 again, but in 2001 I hoped this year I would have a little more fun No weed for me then, everyone was dry No weed for me now, don't have to ask why I despise drug tests, they take away my fun Sitting alone waiting for the other to be done Sweet second hand smoke floating all around Tempting. So tempting. It would pick me off the ground I can't. I won't. I'll get sent to rehab again It's a road down which I've already been So I sit here with my warm liquor Drinking so much the blackness starts to flicker DAMN I start to feel the effect It's like my life is god's little defect I leave the party with him at my side I think of ____ and I know my soul must have died We get back to his house and he opens the door I know what he wants more and more He's stoned and drunk, a little toasted We sit on the couch and of his abilities he boasted One thing leads to another and he starts to talk about sex He says, "BABY come on!" as if it were a natural reflex He says he loves me and I don't understand When he whips out his dick and puts it in my hand I won't have sex. I'm not quite that fucked up My love for ____ I can't corrupt I refused - I did. Multiple times I should have recognized the tone of his voice- I've met those kinds He was rougher than before When he casually opened that door Now he was forceful telling me what I had to do Overpowering me and holding me down - I knew "You're the victim of a victimless crime" he said As he held my head down I stopped joking around Ididn't like the way shit was going down I threatened to yell To the floor I quickly fell Grabbed my shirt and sat on the chair He met my glance with a vengeful stare I wanted to leave, but where would I go? I wasn't in any condition to drive andso I stayed there with him yelling at me So pissed off, but how could this be? He loves me? I doubt it, thats too hard to believe The sun rose and I was so relieved i breathed a sigh and hoped the alcohol was gone and i left that house at the crack of dawn Driving down the road my reaction timw was slow Tired and hungover, I was full of sorrow I went home, the only place I had I got in the shower and I was very glad Home alive and not totally assalted But I was revolted By myself, by my actions, by the predicaments I'm in My life of humanities' sin the pain and suffering as a result of my actions My life- one aspect of society My little faction 011219 what's it to you? who go blather from